I feel a tingly whisper of warning on the back of my neck.
Will she see that my wife is cheating with my father’s estranged brother who is in prison for stealing the pig my uncle won in a raffle at the Iowa State Fair Swine Barn?
Will she forecast my death occurring just before I’m able to achieve my life glory — eating an entire pan of cinnamon rolls in one setting?
I don’t think so.
Will she tell me if the Cyclones or Hawkeyes or Panthers or Bulldogs or the Under 6 “Kittens” are going to win this weekend?
“I help people get in touch with who they are and clear out all the gunk. Like being worried about other people’s opinions. Being worried about their everyday responsibilities. I’m always trying to preach to people about self-care. Just taking care of yourself. So you can get to know you. I help people to discover what it is about them they like and to build on that.”
A large laugh. A warm glow. An empathetic look. Yvette Keyes is all of these.
And, by the way, she is also a psychic.
Which is why I am here.
What can we expect for 2022? That’s the question. Sure, we could review legislative proposals, or the latest crop reports, or Paris fashions, but does that tell you if you should leave your boyfriend or start a new business or, in my case, get hair implants?
So what are the predictions for 2022?
I asked a local goddess, a bone thrower, a psychic energy reader and a witch.
Yvette Keyes laughs a lot, but she is no-nonsense, down to earth, and ready to work for you.
And she reads Tarot cards. The cards are a vehicle to help her tap into the Universe, she explains.
“I get more relationship issues than anything, which is why I have people focus on themselves and what they can do to solve the issues, not what the other person can do. I’m not reading for the other person.”
I nod along knowingly — that is, knowing it is the other person’s fault for our problems. Right?
Keyes will have none of that.
“Is my boyfriend cheating on me? I can tell you if he is or not. But the real question is what are you going to do about it? What kind of life are you going to have? Are you willing to say, ‘Hey, I know you’re cheating, and I’m OK with that.’ Or ‘I know you’re cheating, and I’m done.’ ”
So, what do you think for 2022?
She shuffles her deck of Tarot cards. She lays three on the table.
“So the king of swords is telling me about you taking charge of your life. Whatever you have to get done, get it done. This is the year. You can work on your family, but work on yourself, also. This is the year to get it done.”
And the Strength card?
“It’s going to take strength to get through the year. There may be some things coming up that aren’t rosy, but remember strength is not about being strong, it’s about being loving. Within yourself find the love that you have. If that means you have to meditate or go out and jog, whatever you have to do, find that love that’s within you.”
And finally the Two of Swords?
“It’s funny. It’s like you have two different paths you can take, like you’re blindfolded and trying to live two different paths. If you were to take that blindfold off, which path would you choose? Could you blend both paths? Make a decision. It is your year. Make a decision about your year. But in love.”
And Goddess Keyes packs up her well-used deck. And walks on into 2022. With love.
ARGOS THE BONE THROWER
I have a bad habit of sizing people up to see if I can take them out if a fight erupts. Yup, it’s true. Pathetic, but true. So… Argos Marinoctis?
He could crush me, roll me up, and sell me as a burrito.
Where do we begin?
“When a new person comes in to see me they’re like, ‘You’re going to tell me if I’m going to die or something?’ I tell them I won’t.”
Argos Marinoctis says this with a deep rumble that seems to vibrate in MY chest.
“And then the death card comes up in the Tarot deck, and they freak out.”
“No, it’s not about death. It’s all about change, that’s all it is.”
Argos laughs. I reflexively smile at this bear of a tatted man.
I heard about Argos because he is a “bone reader.”
“My mom and dad were very involved in the old magic stuff. I was raised with Tarot cards, and my grandmother read palms. When I left home, I actually thought everyone else was strange to not have this upbringing. But I discovered I am the strange one.”
Where does bone reading come into the picture?
“Bone reading is probably one of the oldest forms of divination out there. Basically, I have a few different kinds of bones. I have coyote bones, and I even have a few human finger bones. The point of that is everything has symbolism, and everything has meaning. Coyote bones have a kind of trickster energy, and a lot of people need that because it will tell them what things and what people to watch out for.”
What about the finger bones?
“The finger bones connect to the human aspect, and the bones change with time.”
And then what happens in a bone reading?
“It depends on how the bones lay. If they’re laying on top of each other or pointing in a specific direction. Whatever catches my eye. It is trusting your instinct.”
OK, Argos Marinoctis, what do you see for 2022?
I’m actually optimistic. I know there are things happening — people are freaking out. None of that matters for 2022.”
So what matters?
“2022 is going to represent new growth. There are going to be new avenues opening. A lot of people are going to be chasing their tails the first four months, but I think come mid-spring, early summer, everything is going to flush itself out. It will return to the new normal.”
And what makes you optimistic?
“We’ve learned to adapt. People are now a lot more conscientious of each other. I think we’re going to see people being more considerate and courteous of other people. I don’t want to say it was necessary to have the pandemic, but this is one of the benefits. People are going to appreciate each other more as we move forward.”
Any specific advice?
“Specific advice I can’t say. If you want something to change, you need to change it. You obviously sat down with me for a reason. You need to change.”
And Argos Marinoctis looks directly at me with that message. Yikes.
AMALIA THE PSYCHIC ENERGY READER
So, who marries a bone reader?
At Black Toad Apothecary, Amalia Marinoctis sizes me up with kind eyes.
“Do people really want to hear about me?” says the wife of Argos the bone reader.
A truly self-effacing person, she wants to talk about you. But with a slight push, she states what she does — actually does — is FEEL, and always has. The Black Toad Apothecary website puts it:
“Amalia connects Psychic Energy through touch and can tap into your energies to see what blocks your progression forward and can assist in clearing such things from your path.”
“I read energy,” Amalia says. “I’ve always been able to.”
“It’s learning how to interpret it, and I’m always learning something, researching. When you stop learning, you stop growing, and then you stop living, and then there is really no point.”
So, when you feel, do you see something physical like an aura?
“I don’t actually see anything, I feel a vibe. If I really wanted to tune into you, which I will not do except in a reading, I can feel your chakras, I can feel the energy that your emotions give off, and I can pinpoint where in your body that is and what it pertains to and how it screws with your mind and decision-making and how you feel.”
So what happens if I tell you I’m having relationship problems?
“I will sit you down and look at you. I will peel it all back and look at your energy through the psychic side of myself.”
“Well, everybody wants to know the future. They want to know what the best branch is to climb to get to that twig over there. That is impossible.”
Shoot. That is exactly what I want.
“There are always a lot of possibilities and a lot of decisions. The decisions might not be up to you but up to your partner. Things are always ambiguous. You have to look at yourself and the situation.”
How do you do this?
“I can use Tarot cards, but I find them distracting. I don’t have to work by touch, but I prefer touch because it is easier to remove distractions.”
Why do people usually come to see you?
“Relationships is a big one, but a lot of times people don’t actually know why they come in. They feel stuck. A fun one is when people come in and say their house is haunted, and they want to know what to do.”
What do you do for a haunted house?
“Well it depends on what is haunting you. Are you living on an Indian burial grounds, or is it your grandma saying you should know about this?”
“What is kind of cool is that a ghost and person feel pretty much the same.”
So, what do you see for 2022?
“I still see a lot of change coming. I don’t think it’s quite settled down yet. People are still trying to find a rhythm. The fear in the world has to settle down.”
So what can a person do?
“Don’t worry about all the crazy stuff on the news. Ignore the news and just worry about yourself and your life and where you want to be. Your life is going to be the source of your immediate happiness regardless of what is going on in the world.”
When will this all settle down?
“I think people are starting to focus more on their own lives, and that will mean the faster it will all settle down. The pandemic has forced people to focus on their own lives. ‘I don’t want this, but what do I want?’ ”
And then Amalia give me a small touch on the tip of my finger.
“That’s all it takes.”
MARGREET THE WITCH
“I’d prefer that you say I’m a little witchy rather than a witch.”
Of course. Simple enough.
Although, my Dutch friend, Margreet den Adel, is not plain and simple.
So what do you believe?
“I believe in my gut feeling. I believe in energies. I believe in reincarnation. I believe in the afterlife, and I believe in life in general. We can’t live without dying. So we have to live death. I believe in death.”
Yup, just a typical conversation with Margreet over WhatsApp as she sits in her living room in The Hague.
A tall, spark of a woman full of color and warmth, she is a trained counselor and a trained grief counselor. And, by the way, she is also a self-proclaimed witch, who switches from laughter to seriousness with the turn of a Tarot card.
She is the person you want to sit next to at a dinner party.
“I believe in living life to the max, and I believe in love. We have to be more loving and caring toward each other. It all starts with us.”
So, Margreet, what are you all about?
“Well, I am clear hearing and clear knowing. Is that a good word? And I believe in the universe, and I believe in a higher power. And I believe in miracles and magic and nature. I believe in the ocean.”
When did you first feel you were different?
“Oh, very young. I have always been different even in childhood.”
“I saw energies, which no one else saw. As a result, I thought I was adopted. I even asked my parents if they adopted me.”
So if you’re in a crowd of people, what do you feel?
“I don’t like to be in a crowd because I feel too much and I sense too much. My clients come in for Tarot readings, and I tap in before I even lay down the cards. I can feel their energies.”
That sounds like a burden.
“Well, it’s a good thing, Joe, but sometimes really, really hard.”
Because of negative feelings?
“Of course. When you have clients, you don’t always have positive clients. We all have positive things and negative things.”
“I did Tarot readings in past lives. So I remember now from then. And without bragging, I am just good at it because of that.”
“And in the past I misused my power. I have been a High Priestess in Egypt, and I misused my power enormously. This time I do not.”
Tell me about the cards.
“The beautiful thing about the cards is that the cards never lie. So I lay down the spread, and people are like, ‘Whaaat.’ ”
Because of your interpretation?
“They frequently are shocked and can’t understand how I can know them since they are strangers. I know their lives. It is wonderful. It is beautiful.”
And your role in all this?
“I am just a messenger. I read energies. And my spirit team is working with my client’s spirit team. We exchange energies. It makes me think, who is actually counseling who. My clients are my biggest teachers.”
Who are your clients, and what are their typical issues?
“It is women, and it’s all about love. I don’t have one man in my practice. They are too up in their head.”
OK, 2022. What do you see?
“I see a bright and beautiful future because next year is a six year [2022 — 2+0+2+2]. And we also have the number ‘2.’ A ‘2’ means you have to make a decision. Next year is all about decisions. It is about balancing out. It is also all about love because lovers are the number ‘6.’ ”
Is there more?
“It is going to be a better world, 2022 and 2023. They go together. We are all going to have our bumpy roads and our decisions to make. We are going to have one heck of a year. It will be difficult, but I see a bright, beautiful future. We will come together.”
And Margreet blows a kiss, sends me her picture taken by her daughter, and leaves to lay the cards down for another client.
|Ways to reach the psychics that do not involve a Ouija Board
Margreet den Adel
There you go. Psychic predictions for 2022. So, what now?
Well, if you are a true believer in this psychic world, great, go for it, leave that darn boyfriend. I never liked him anyway.
Perhaps you are a skeptic but think you have nothing to lose in believing — so you believe. Wonderful. I’ve always loved a pragmatist. So you should do the recommended hard work and stop blaming your 64-year-old mother.
Perhaps you are an unbeliever and think this is a lot of hokum. Of course. Duh. But before you go all Harry Houdini on me and want to uncover the ringing bell box under the table, isn’t the world a better place when it makes room for a goddess, a bone thrower, a psychic energy reader, and a witch? All of them, by the way, preaching love?
Now there’s a card to lay on the table for 2022. ♦