Posted October 04, 2023in Joe's Neighborhood
“Life expectancy at birth for women in the United States dropped 0.8 years from 79.9 years in 2020 to 79.1 in 2021, while life expectancy for men dropped one full year, from 74.2 years in 2020 to 73.2 in 2021.” – CDC, Aug. 23, 2022 73.2 years? Really? I might as
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Posted September 06, 2023in Joe's Neighborhood
Listen, this is truly going somewhere. I promise. But the journey requires that we play Candy Land, which means we have to get past Peppermint Forest and Gumdrop Mountains and survive Molasses Swamp, all to hopefully arrive at King Kandy. You don’t want to do that? Sorry, those are just
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Posted August 02, 2023in Joe's Neighborhood
“We are all going to hell in a hand basket.” Really? Well, yes. Look around. Canadian fires to the north. Floods to the east. Dangerous heat extremes to the south. And no water to the west. Yikes. And that isn’t even mentioning that Iowa’s acclaimed virtue of tolerance is getting
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Posted July 05, 2023in Joe's Neighborhood
My mom, born in rural Iowa during the depression, has certain rules that allow you to magically control the uncontrollable. I love it. For example, because the weather is fickle, always garden based on the moon. See, you can control nature just by paying attention to heavenly bodies. How wonderful.
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Posted May 31, 2023in Joe's Neighborhood
So… what about the potato in Ireland? “You call them fries, we call them chips. What you call potato chips, we call crisps.” Emmett Maher, the restaurant manager at Beshoffs Seagrill in Howth, Ireland, is gregarious, engaging and charming. He’s the guy you want to be seated next to at
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Posted May 03, 2023in Joe's Neighborhood
The dark blue Irish Sea, streaked with light on the cresting waves, moves far below my winding cliff path. Listen, I get that people love the ocean. Of course, it’s not the Des Moines River or even the Raccoon, but the ocean does aggressively measure the smallness of your life.
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Posted April 05, 2023in Joe's Neighborhood
The students are cautiously lining up. They are dressed in pinks and blues and reds and purples and whites… and, look, there’s someone in a sparkling glitter affair good for both skiing and going to the club. Helmets are of all different shades, but it’s difficult to ignore the one
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Posted March 01, 2023in Joe's Neighborhood
“Could I help you, hon?” I don’t know. As an old man, the bright florescent world of Target presents several unique challenges — like where in this giant warehouse is the darn thing I’m looking for, particularly when I can’t exactly remember what that darn thing is that I am
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Posted February 01, 2023in Joe's Neighborhood
“Ah, the good old days.” Did I really just say that? Knocking on the door of nostalgia seems a bit of a trick bag. One person’s treasured memory is usually another person’s therapy-inducing nightmare. Take high school, for example. J.J. Watt, star defensive end for the Arizona Cardinals, says: “What I
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Posted January 04, 2023in Joe's Neighborhood
“It’s not opening,” my wife says with just a tinge of panic as the glass doors allowing us to leave the Paris train station stay firmly closed. That’s not the advertised deal. You are supposed to put your train ticket in the slot just like you did 10 miles earlier
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