Posted April 03, 2024in Joe's Neighborhood
My dermatologist slowly goes over my bald head with gentle fingers and a calm voice. He dictates to his assistant as he goes — much like an explorer taking notes on the unusual flora and fauna found in this remote and inhospitable landscape: “Blah blah blah, and here’s a blah.
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Posted March 06, 2024in Joe's Neighborhood
CITYVIEW Best Beaverdale Area Store Once again taking home Best Beaverdale Area Store … Beaverdale Books. Runner-up: Back Country We do love to compete, don’t we? Probably due to some Darwinian gamble about Bob and Jack outracing the T-Rex to the safety of a cave. The loser’s gene pool ended
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Posted January 31, 2024in Joe's Neighborhood
Bad luck is bad luck. True enough. But there are certainly different types of bad luck. There’s the really bad luck of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and it’s a matter of life or death. Like getting trapped by a falling boulder and having to cut
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Posted January 03, 2024in Joe's Neighborhood
My friend and I kneel clumsily on the side of the altar in the early morning dark before school begins. Our shoes are covered by our black cassocks, which are straitjackets for squirmy 11-year-olds. So we tug and pull at the cassocks until the priest, bending over the chalice, gives
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Posted December 06, 2023in Joe's Neighborhood
The tightly sealed cardboard box from the attic is an accumulation of orphaned items too dear to trash. There’s a first communion missal, a holy water font to hang on my wall, a kindergarten report card from St. Thomas Aquinas (with nine graded categories, one being the “Ability to talk
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Posted November 01, 2023in Joe's Neighborhood
The cardboard box is tucked under the eaves in the attic. Spiderwebs and insulation cling to the top. Old baby beds and suitcases and containers of long-abused toys surround it. Stale, warm air drifts down from the rafters. I breathe slowly. Dusting off the flaps, I open it to see
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Posted October 04, 2023in Joe's Neighborhood
“Life expectancy at birth for women in the United States dropped 0.8 years from 79.9 years in 2020 to 79.1 in 2021, while life expectancy for men dropped one full year, from 74.2 years in 2020 to 73.2 in 2021.” – CDC, Aug. 23, 2022 73.2 years? Really? I might as
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Posted September 06, 2023in Joe's Neighborhood
Listen, this is truly going somewhere. I promise. But the journey requires that we play Candy Land, which means we have to get past Peppermint Forest and Gumdrop Mountains and survive Molasses Swamp, all to hopefully arrive at King Kandy. You don’t want to do that? Sorry, those are just
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Posted August 02, 2023in Joe's Neighborhood
“We are all going to hell in a hand basket.” Really? Well, yes. Look around. Canadian fires to the north. Floods to the east. Dangerous heat extremes to the south. And no water to the west. Yikes. And that isn’t even mentioning that Iowa’s acclaimed virtue of tolerance is getting
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Posted July 05, 2023in Joe's Neighborhood
My mom, born in rural Iowa during the depression, has certain rules that allow you to magically control the uncontrollable. I love it. For example, because the weather is fickle, always garden based on the moon. See, you can control nature just by paying attention to heavenly bodies. How wonderful.
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