Posted July 31, 2024in Joe's Neighborhood
“I’m not gonna do that,” the Des Moines police officer says from the middle of the classroom. I fix him with a cold smile. “Listen, that’s the law for a police stop of a car.” I say this more defensively than I’d like because, of course, in this room full
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Posted July 03, 2024in Joe's Neighborhood
I sat in the back of Macbride Hall for a reason. I wanted to be invisible. I wanted to slink in early unseen and slink out in the crowd unnoticed. As a result, even the last row of this large auditorium was too close to the stage for me. So,
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Posted June 05, 2024in Joe's Neighborhood
I spent most of my adult life trying to get my kids out the door. “Begone children,” was my motto. When they were young, I’d wonder if it was too soon to suggest they get a job babysitting or as a lifeguard or maybe at a garment factory. Don’t worry,
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Posted May 01, 2024in Joe's Neighborhood
The graves sprawl over the bright green and faded brown grass like grazing cattle over the stubble of an Iowa corn field. Narrow blacktop roads meander here and there across the 65 acres. Pools of sunshine dance on the white granite tombstones and the half-buried markers of grey river rock.
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Posted April 03, 2024in Joe's Neighborhood
My dermatologist slowly goes over my bald head with gentle fingers and a calm voice. He dictates to his assistant as he goes — much like an explorer taking notes on the unusual flora and fauna found in this remote and inhospitable landscape: “Blah blah blah, and here’s a blah.
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Posted March 06, 2024in Joe's Neighborhood
CITYVIEW Best Beaverdale Area Store Once again taking home Best Beaverdale Area Store … Beaverdale Books. Runner-up: Back Country We do love to compete, don’t we? Probably due to some Darwinian gamble about Bob and Jack outracing the T-Rex to the safety of a cave. The loser’s gene pool ended
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Posted January 31, 2024in Joe's Neighborhood
Bad luck is bad luck. True enough. But there are certainly different types of bad luck. There’s the really bad luck of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and it’s a matter of life or death. Like getting trapped by a falling boulder and having to cut
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Posted January 03, 2024in Joe's Neighborhood
My friend and I kneel clumsily on the side of the altar in the early morning dark before school begins. Our shoes are covered by our black cassocks, which are straitjackets for squirmy 11-year-olds. So we tug and pull at the cassocks until the priest, bending over the chalice, gives
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Posted December 06, 2023in Joe's Neighborhood
The tightly sealed cardboard box from the attic is an accumulation of orphaned items too dear to trash. There’s a first communion missal, a holy water font to hang on my wall, a kindergarten report card from St. Thomas Aquinas (with nine graded categories, one being the “Ability to talk
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Posted November 01, 2023in Joe's Neighborhood
The cardboard box is tucked under the eaves in the attic. Spiderwebs and insulation cling to the top. Old baby beds and suitcases and containers of long-abused toys surround it. Stale, warm air drifts down from the rafters. I breathe slowly. Dusting off the flaps, I open it to see
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