Posted February 05, 2025in Joe's Neighborhood
“You know what’s going to happen if you do that?” I say this in my sternest grandfather voice with a glower of hard eyes, a very pursed mouth, and a disapproving shake of my head. Trust me, I am the scary thing under a small child’s bed. Don’t tread on
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Posted January 01, 2025in Joe's Neighborhood
I tired of New Year’s resolutions long before I became an old man. But, before I did, my resolutions were the typical nutty variety that I always circumvented by the end of January. Let’s just take a gander at a few. “20 Days to Better Spelling,” a book with not
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Posted December 04, 2024in Joe's Neighborhood
The metal detector is where it first goes south. Metal in my knees and metal in my neck trigger all the bells and whistles. At this point, the security guards only look at me with mild interest. Sure, I don’t look like a gun-toting madman, but really, who does? And
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Posted November 06, 2024in Joe's Neighborhood
Knock, knock. Hello, my name is Joe Weeg, and I’m here to encourage you to vote in the upcoming school board election. Listen, I HATE door-knocking for candidates. Always have. I even hated it when my job was on the line with the many elections of Tom Miller for Attorney
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Posted October 02, 2024in Joe's Neighborhood
It’s 3 a.m. I’ve tossed and turned since going to bed four hours earlier. The sheets are twisted around my feet and tying me to the bed in some obscure knot I failed to learn for my Webelos badge in Cub Scouts 60 years ago. And now I don’t know
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Posted September 04, 2024in Joe's Neighborhood
Well, here I am in a big box store, and it’s happened again. The start is simple enough. My wife goes one direction to get granddaughter clothes, and I go to the men’s department to buy my own clothes. And, yes, this is a relatively new experience for me —
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Posted July 31, 2024in Joe's Neighborhood
“I’m not gonna do that,” the Des Moines police officer says from the middle of the classroom. I fix him with a cold smile. “Listen, that’s the law for a police stop of a car.” I say this more defensively than I’d like because, of course, in this room full
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Posted July 03, 2024in Joe's Neighborhood
I sat in the back of Macbride Hall for a reason. I wanted to be invisible. I wanted to slink in early unseen and slink out in the crowd unnoticed. As a result, even the last row of this large auditorium was too close to the stage for me. So,
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Posted June 05, 2024in Joe's Neighborhood
I spent most of my adult life trying to get my kids out the door. “Begone children,” was my motto. When they were young, I’d wonder if it was too soon to suggest they get a job babysitting or as a lifeguard or maybe at a garment factory. Don’t worry,
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Posted May 01, 2024in Joe's Neighborhood
The graves sprawl over the bright green and faded brown grass like grazing cattle over the stubble of an Iowa corn field. Narrow blacktop roads meander here and there across the 65 acres. Pools of sunshine dance on the white granite tombstones and the half-buried markers of grey river rock.
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