Posted September 03, 2025in Joe's Neighborhood
The Irish lilt is a thing of beauty. It moves up and down the vocal scale like a soaring and diving bird rather than the flat and plodding groundhog of American English. It wouldn’t surprise me if Irish was the dialect spoken in the Garden of Eden. Angelic and holy.
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Posted August 06, 2025in Joe's Neighborhood
With an anxious stomach, I stand behind the long black curtains and watch off stage as the teenage girls tap dance before the large audience in Boone. It’s the Betty Mae Harris dance recital. I want to throw up. But, still, I watch the teenagers who are clever and quick
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Posted July 02, 2025in Joe's Neighborhood
“Fill the bathtub with water,” my wife yells in a high crescendo while gesturing with her hands as if she is has me by the ears and is trying to shake some sense into me. Naturally, being a good husband, I treat this cry for help with all the love
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Posted June 04, 2025in Joe's Neighborhood
“Directly beneath me, in this hotel’s rubble-strewn basement, a massive concrete chamber has been discovered and there is evidence to suggest that that vault once belonged to Al Capone, the richest and most powerful gangster of his time.” So began Geraldo Rivera on April 21, 1986, in a much-watched live
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Posted April 30, 2025in Joe's Neighborhood
“Well, that was something,” she said out of the blue on a Tuesday. A phrase she was fond of saying for nearly any event from the grand to the not-so-grand. Two days later, she died. My mom was nearly 98 years old. You wouldn’t have known her, of course. My
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Posted April 02, 2025in Joe's Neighborhood
The letter began well enough: “Dear friend.” Who doesn’t want to be a friend? But then it quickly went south: “Back Country will be closing its doors for good in the next few month.” Oof! Aging is a little like playing that game where you take away blocks all stacked
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Posted March 05, 2025in Joe's Neighborhood
“I think I’m going to die.” “Well, yes you are, sweetie. The question, of course, is it today or in some mythical future full of butterflies and freshly popped popcorn.” “It’s today! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh.” “Here, wipe your nose. Let’s put the humidifier on. Now close your eyes and try to rest.”
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Posted February 05, 2025in Joe's Neighborhood
“You know what’s going to happen if you do that?” I say this in my sternest grandfather voice with a glower of hard eyes, a very pursed mouth, and a disapproving shake of my head. Trust me, I am the scary thing under a small child’s bed. Don’t tread on
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Posted January 01, 2025in Joe's Neighborhood
I tired of New Year’s resolutions long before I became an old man. But, before I did, my resolutions were the typical nutty variety that I always circumvented by the end of January. Let’s just take a gander at a few. “20 Days to Better Spelling,” a book with not
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Posted December 04, 2024in Joe's Neighborhood
The metal detector is where it first goes south. Metal in my knees and metal in my neck trigger all the bells and whistles. At this point, the security guards only look at me with mild interest. Sure, I don’t look like a gun-toting madman, but really, who does? And
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