Hand of fate

“The Slap”

Thursday, Feb. 12 (NBC)

If America learns nothing else from NBC’s adaptation of Australian hit “The Slap” beyond the fact that a successful, pleasant backyard BBQ doesn’t include children, I’ll consider this “dialogue-starter” a success. The title and overcooked promos make “The Slap” seem like a joke — or a stretched-out Lifetime movie — but the big-deal cast (which includes Melissa George, who also appeared in the Aussie version, as well as Zachary Quinto, Peter Sarsgaard, Thandie Newton and Uma Thurman, who replaced Mary-Louise Parker at the last minute) and better-than-TV-average writing make this eight-episode oddity worth a look. It all begins at a 40th birthday party for Hector (Sarsgaard), where his unblinkingly intense cousin Harry (unblinkingly intense Quinto) slaps the obnoxious, undisciplined kid of “progressive” parents (George and “The Newsroom”’s Thomas Sadoski). Naturally, outrage and threats of legal charges break out among the yuppie Brooklynites, but “The Slap” spins off into a series of juicier character studies from there, and not even the utterly unnecessary voiceover narration (via Victor Garber) can completely derail it. “The Slap” isn’t perfect, but at least it’s short and, now that “Parenthood” is gone, it’s the closest thing to a family drama anywhere on network TV. And, if there’s a second season, Quinto could go on the lam town-to-town as vigilante kiddie-disiplinist The Slapper. Everybody wins.

“Sexy Beasts”

Saturday, Feb. 14 (A&E)

Men and women go on blind dates with three suitors of the opposite sex. The twist: All are wearing prosthetic monster makeup, so matches are made based on “personality,” “chemistry” and other nonsense that has no place on TV — until the masks come off, revealing ridiculously attractive people (because this is TV — confused yet?). At the very least, the makeup artistry of “Sexy Beasts” is almost as impressive as whatever A&E’s “Donnie Loves Jenny” does to make Jenny McCarthy less scary.

“Saturday Night Live 40th Anniversary Special”

Sunday, Feb. 15 (NBC)

After a notable 31-year absence from anything “Saturday Night Live”-related, Eddie Murphy will (allegedly) show up for the series’ 40th anniversary special, along with most of the still-known stars of past and present. (Where for art thou, Joe Piscopo?) What likely won’t even be mentioned is the infamously disastrous 1980-81 season that simultaneously introduced future “SNL” MVP and legit superstar Murphy and nearly killed the franchise (1985-86 was similarly effed up — and that season introduced Robert Downey Jr.). Unfortunately, probably neither will legendarily toxic “SNL” weirdo-geniuses like writer/performer Michael O’Donoghue, because time has to be allotted for useless guests like Sarah Palin and Kanye West. The kind of slick affair “SNL40” is shaping up to be has nothing to do with the show’s counter-cultural beginnings, but at least give me an appearance from Will Forte’s “The Falconer.” (Pleeeaaase, Lorne Michaels?)

“Mulaney”

Sunday, Feb. 15 (Fox)

The (official) cancellations of the 2014-2015 network TV season thus far — see if you can detect the pattern: “Manhattan Love Story,” “Selfie,” “The McCarthys,” “The Millers,” “A to Z,” “Bad Judge” and “Mulaney.” All comedies and, with the qualified exception of “Selfie,” lousy ones, at that. “Mulaney” rightfully suffered the worst reviews; between the brazen “Seinfeld” wannabe-ism, obnoxious laugh track (OK, fine, live studio audience) and star John Mulaney’s inability to portray human comedian “John Mulaney,” it was like a half-hour meta parody sketch about bad television… Wait, could that have been the point? Whoa. CV

Bill Frost writes about television for Salt Lake City Weekly, talks about it on the TV Tan Podcast (Tuesdays on iTunes and Stitcher), and tweets about it at @Bill_Frost.