I don’t believe in ghosts — probably

I have known several people who claimed they did not believe in God — until they were lying on their deathbed, staring at the ceiling and realizing they were about to find out whether they were right. At that point, their position became surprisingly flexible.

I think ghosts work the same way. There are people who insist ghosts don’t exist. They are make-believe. There is a logical explanation for everything. Strange noises are pipes. Shadows are trees. Footsteps upstairs are the house settling.

I agree. Mostly. During daylight hours. But something happens when it gets dark. A horror movie can turn a perfectly reasonable adult into a human pretzel hiding behind a blanket. A haunted house can make people scream before anything actually happens. And if you want to see how quickly a situation can collapse, just put a big, hairy spider near a person who claims to be fearless.

We are strange creatures. We like to be scared — as long as we are completely certain we are safe.

That’s why we watch horror movies. We sit comfortably on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, knowing darn well that the monster is fictional. Then the music changes. The camera slowly moves toward a dark doorway. A door creaks. And, suddenly, we are yelling at the television: “DON’T GO IN THERE!” Of course, the person on the screen can’t hear us, but that doesn’t stop us from trying.

Our obsession with haunted houses is even more strange. We voluntarily pay to be put into a dark building with chainsaws, masked people and dim lighting. Then, when somebody jumps out from behind a wall, we scream. And, afterward, we laugh.

I’m not saying every unexplained noise is a ghost. Most likely, there is a perfectly logical explanation. But I do think our reaction to the possibility of ghosts tells us something. Maybe we do not like the unexplainable. Maybe there is a part of us that wonders about life after death is really all there is. Or maybe we are just terrified of the dark.

Personally, I am willing to consider all possibilities, but I have established that if I am home alone and I hear footsteps coming from the basement, I am not going downstairs to investigate. That is not bravery. That is how you become the opening scene of a horror movie. ♦

Shane Goodman 
Editor and Publisher
CITYVIEW
shane@dmcityview.com
515-953-4822, ext. 305
www.dmcityview.com