Change of mind
After all the letters to editor that have run in Cityview responding to my many letters to the editor over the years, I have had a change of thought. I have come to realize that I was wrong about Terry Branstad, Chuck Grassley, and maybe most importantly, Donald Trump. I want those of you who have sounded off on my comments to know that you changed me. I am in the process of becoming a proud Republican. Just today I poured used motor oil in the river. I denounced any increases in the minimum wage. And I bought a handgun. I know, it’s just a start, but the most important piece to note is that I am making progress. And I owe it all to those of you who have responded to my letters. Thank you. Now let’s make America great again!
Make it bigger
Congratulations, Des Moines. You did a great job hosting the men’s basketball tournament at Wells Fargo Arena. Your hotels were great. Your restaurants were great. Your amenities overall were great.
But Des Moinesians, before you arms getting tired from patting yourselves on your backs, know that we want more of your money and you will have to find a way to put more asses in the seats. As a result, we are going to raise our minimum seating requirements to make sure you never get any of our tournaments again. Meanwhile, we enjoyed the ride and hope you did, too. Have a nice day.
NCAA vice president
We’ve got a friend
Hello Des Moines! Just want to say thank you for your incredible support of my upcoming tour by buying a record-setting 70,000 tickets and having me in town for not one, not four, but six shows! Golly, you guys are incredible! A week in Iowa will be pretty cool to boot! Hoping to get out and see some of these world famous potato fields on your plantations, maybe get out there with the migrants and pitchfork me and some taters for Trish to cook up, too! Let me hear ya, Iowa! Go Buckeyes!