A fight at Wakonda Club; an apology from Ourth

Let’s take a break from politics, for a moment, and watch the rich folks fight. It seems the golf course at the tony Wakonda Club (named after Tony Wakonda, an early settler) is getting a little shoddy. So the club directors want to spend $450,000 to replace the grass on all of the 18 fairways and greens with “state-of-the-art bent grass,” a grass that, according to the board, is “the gold standard for great golf courses in the Midwest.” But it seems that that particular kind of grass doesn’t do well in the shade, especially on greens that are in the shade. And it seems the course is shady — as well as shoddy — which apparently has gone unnoticed in the 86 years of the club’s existence. (“Keep your eye on the ball, sir. Don’t look around.”)

Thus, the problem: If the gold standard for greens is a grass that doesn’t do well in the shade, yet you insist on putting it on a shady course, what is the solution? It’s obvious to the board: Cut down the trees. So the board is proposing to cut down a tree or two — actually, 98 — so the greens can get their “9-10 hours of continuous daily sunlight exposure.” Many of those 98 trees are very big and very old and, to some members, just like family. They don’t think chainsaws are the solution.

“Wakonda was built as an excellent golf course in the middle of an oak savanna. Keeping the oak savanna in all its feature and essence is of utmost importance to me and to the legacy of my family’s connection to this course, from my grandfather (who was an original founder), through my father, a member for 40 years, through my 20-year membership, my son’s membership, and all the way through to my grandchildren,” Bob Riley Jr., wrote in a letter to the greens committee. Riley (whose late father was a prominent lawyer who once gave “a lawsuit of your choice” to a friend as a wedding gift) added: “It seems we have a problem grass that can’t stand heat and sun that we are replacing with a grass that can’t stand shade. And then solving that dilemma by eliminating the shade. In this day and age of trying to get along with our natural surroundings, this seems to go in the opposite direction.”

Riley, who comes from a long line of logical thinkers, and others have suggested that the club plant grass that likes sun in the sun and grass that likes shade in the shade. But in a letter to members, the club has rejected that. “The board believes it would not be prudent for the top club in the state to have two different sets of putting surfaces,” it wrote. So the issue has been joined. Club members will be discussing this at two meetings this week. Presumably, one meeting will be in the sun, one in the shade.

A footnote: If the oak trees are cut down, the board plans to replace them with new oak trees. So members’ grandchildren can replay this fight in 40 years. Meantime, the club has completed the sale of a swath of land — trees and all — on the north edge of the club to the Hubbell interests, who plan to develop homes on the course. The club “received over $2 million in proceeds,” the board’s letter says.

Now, politics… Leonard Boswell is nothing if not crafty. A few weeks ago, his campaign manager, Scott Ourth, sent a mailing accusing Boswell’s primary opponent of having “never acted in the best interests of our party.” And he said it was “irresponsible” of Ed Fallon to challenge the incumbent Democrat in a primary. Now comes a mailing in which Ourth says Boswell “appropriately (and much to his credit) gave me counsel” on those two points. In a not-so-subtle additional slap at Fallon, Ourth says “Congressman Boswell suggested that he was certain that Mr. Fallon had made contributions of value to our party at some point during his career.” And Ourth says Boswell reminded him that the freedom to run for office (even against Boswell) “is firmly ensconced in the pantheon of our most sacred and inalienable rights.” Skinny is not a cynic, but (a) doubts the first letter went out without Boswell’s approval and (b) wonders how many ways Ourth and Boswell will find to repeat the offending statements. Meantime, Ourth accuses Fallon “of playing fast and loose with the truth.” Presumably Boswell will demand a correction repeating the claim.

One other note, regarding Ourth; Skinny loves the word “pantheon” and is reminded of a colleague who once kept a list of prominent people posted above his desk. It was headed “pantheon of assholes.”

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