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Viva Shark Vegas

7/27/2016

“Sharknado: The 4th Awakens” hits Sin City, and “Squidbillies” are ‘Merica

“Sharknado: The 4th Awakens”

Sunday, July 31 (Syfy)

SHARKNADO THE 4TH AWAKENS -- Pictured: "Sharknado the 4th Awakens" Key Art -- (Photo by: NBCUniversal)

SHARKNADO THE 4TH AWAKENS — Pictured: “Sharknado the 4th Awakens” Key Art — (Photo by: NBCUniversal)

Movie: Who’s joining Ian Zering and Tara Reid (apparently, the #AprilLives campaign from “Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!” worked) this time? David Hasselhoff (“Baywatch”), Gena Lee Nolin (also “Baywatch”), Alexandra Paul (again with the “Baywatch”), Gary Busey (snubbed Donald Trump VP candidate), Cheryl Tiegs (elderly model-shamer), Carrot Top (elderly prop comic), Stacey Dash (pretend Fox News “conservative”), Seth Rollins (WWE ‘rassler), Duane Chapman (“Dog” the Bounty Hunter), David Faustino (“Married With Children”), Steve Guttenberg (“Police Academy”), Vince Neil (Motley Crue), Corey Taylor (Slipknot/Stone Sour), various “personalities” from Bravo reality shows and more from the “Is Pepsi OK?” department of central casting. After chomping on Los Angeles, New York City and Washington D.C., the next logical(?) locale to be hit with a Sharknado is, of course, Las Vegas.

HIV

“2016 Teen Choice Awards”

Sunday, July 31 (Fox)

Special: The “Teen Choice Awards” are voted by kiddies aged 13-17, so can anyone explain the nomination of Jennifer Lopez’s barely-seen cop serial “Shades of Blues” for “Choice TV Drama”? Or geezers like Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton in the music categories? Or R-rated “Deadpool” for, oh, everything? Technically speaking, these are not “teen” choices, nor are any other nominations recognizable to the writers and readers.

“Squidbillies”

Sundays (Adult Swim)

New Season: Both “Squidbillies” and “Duck Dynasty” premiered for their respective 10th seasons this month, just a week ahead of the 2016 Republican National Convention. Coincidence? All three represent modern ‘Merican (note, not necessarily American) values: God, guns, gumption, general rejection of science, facts and reality. But, while one is a tedious, worn-out, idea-depleted show about a crew of self-absorbed fakes who are only in it for the money, and so is “Duck Dynasty,” “Squidbillies” remains a vital, instructive window into the soul and “thoughts” of Redneckia, USA, whether it resides in the deep south, your neighborhood Walmart or those “Hussein Obama” emails your parents keep forwarding.

“Ghost Hunters”

Wednesday, Aug. 3 (Syfy)

Season Premiere: This is the Season 11 premiere. More than a decade of finding no ghosts. Would you be able to keep your job if you produced zero results in that timespan? (No need to answer that, chiropractors and TV critics.) Like “Finding Bigfoot” (still not “found”) and “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” (nothing ever happens to “keep up with”), “Ghost Hunters” is an inexplicably long-running reality series that spawns even-worse imitators every year and … wait … did you hear that? I’m sensing something over there in the corner! Let me turn on my EMF meter. CV

Bill Frost writes about television for Salt Lake City Weekly, talks about it on TV Tan Podcast (iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play and BillFrost.tv), and tweets about it at @Bill_Frost.

 

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