New Year’s Noise

ARCHER: Episode 1, Season 6 “The Holdout” (Airing Thursday, January 8, 10:00 PM e/p) Archer must salvage a crashed plane in a jungle filled with relics from World War II. Pictured: Sterling Archer (voice of H. Jon Benjamin). CR: FX

“Archer”
Thursday, Jan. 8 (FX)

Season Premiere: After last season’s cocaine ’n’ country detour, Sterling Archer (H. Jon Benjamin) and crew are back in the spy game — but no longer as ISIS, since that name’s been, uh, compromised. After he’s done wallowing in “cobra whiskey and lady-boy hookers,” the new father (congrats, Archer and Lana, even though only one of you was aware of it) will be freelancing for the CIA. Other than that, it’s business — and deliciously crass hilarity — as usual. Favorite line of the new season (so far): “Eat a buffet of dicks.”

“Banshee”
Friday, Jan. 9 (Cinemax)

Season Premiere: The strangest action-thriller you keep missing opens Season 3 with a one-two punch of bloody violence and steamy sex — Cinemax hasn’t gone completely straight. It doesn’t seem to matter anymore that Banshee, Pennsylvania “sheriff” Lucas Hood (Antony Starr) is a fraud; apparently, only a criminal can dispense justice in this town (while making felonious bank on the side). But it does, and he’ll face as much hell from his girlfriend/deputy as he will enemies old (the local Amish mob) and new (an Indian tribe out for his blood). How many times do I have to tell you to just watch “Banshee” already?

“Shameless”
Sunday, Jan. 11 (Showtime)

Jeremy Allen White as Lip Gallagher, Emma Kenney as Debbie Gallagher, Ethan Cutkosky as Carl Gallagher, William H. Macy as Frank Gallagher, Emmy Rossum as Fiona Gallagher, Brandon/Brenden Sims as Liam Gallagher, Shanola Hampton as Veronica Fisher, Steve Howey as Kevin Ball and Cameron Monaghan as Ian Gallagher in Shameless (Season 5) Photo: Brian Bowen Smith/SHOWTIME –

Season Premiere: No longer knockin’ on Heaven’s door, professional alcoholic Frank (William H. Macy) has a new liver (which he wastes no time road-testing), and Fiona (Emmy Rossum) is pushing her own bad-boy limits by juggling four men (including the back-from-the-not-dead Jimmy/Steve/Jack, who only counts as one). But of all the troubles the family has in Season 5 — and there are plenty, as usual — none are more terrifying than the creeping coffee-shop gentrification of their craphole Chicago ‘hood: The Gallaghers vs. Hipsters war is on!

“Parks & Recreation”
Tuesday, Jan. 13 (NBC)

Season Premiere: NBC is burning through “Parks & Recreation”’s final 14 episodes back-to-back on Tuesdays for seven weeks — damn, that’s some cold Jerry Gergich treatment. While the perfect “Parks & Rec” finale actually aired a year ago (“Ann & Chris,” the one where Rashida Jones and Rob Lowe left the show), at least we’ll have a little more time with these characters — now fast-forwarded to the year 2017, because why not? All I want is for Andy (Chris Pratt) to reunite with MouseRat, or at least for Ron (Nick Offerman) to reunite with the Meat Tornado.

“It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia”
Wednesday, Jan. 14 (FXX)

Season Premiere: A decade?! “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia” is kicking off Season 10?! And renewed for two more?! Suck on that, “Friends.” In typically random “Sunny” fashion, the first episode finds the Gang on a flight from Philly to Los Angeles, attempting to break baseball legend Wade Boggs’ record of downing over 50 beers each (save for Mac, who’s acting as “commissioner”) before they reach California. Lessons learned: Boggs’ cross-country chug-a-thon record is a real thing, and “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia” is still bringing it. Hard.

“Man Seeking Woman”
Wednesday, Jan. 14 (FXX)

Series Debut: When he splits from his girlfriend, Josh (Jay Baruchel) walks away, followed by a literal raincloud. His first post-breakup blind date is with an actual troll. “Man Seeking Woman” is full of such absurdist visual gags, punching up what’s essentially just a comedy about a put-upon Jay Baruchel-type looking for love, aided/wildly misdirected by his far-cooler bud (Eric Andre — yeah, a stretch), who drops such romantic wisdom as “Tinder is like Facebook, but it’s just like, straight to smashing.” “Man Seeking Woman” is cute with the potential to wear thin fast — proceed with caution.

Also Premiering This Week
“Portlandia: (IFC, Jan. 8); “Glee” (Fox, Jan. 9); “Real Time With Bill Maher” (HBO, Jan. 9); “Comedy Bang! Bang!” (Comedy Central, Jan. 9); “Girls,” “Togetherness,” “Looking” (HBO, Jan. 11); “House of Lies,” “Episodes” (Showtime, Jan. 11); “Workaholics,” “Broad City” (Comedy Central, Jan. 14).

Bill Frost writes about television for Salt Lake City Weekly, talks about it on the TV Tan Podcast (Tuesdays on iTunes and Stitcher), and tweets about it at @Bill_Frost.