By Michael Swanger michael@dmcityview.com

Henry and Kim Santos celebrate their mutual passion for karaoke by singing an unusual rendition of Peaches & Herbs’ “Shake Your Groove Thing.”.

Iowa House passes anti-karaoke bill

If members of the Iowa House get their way, it could be curtains for amateur singers in Iowa bars and restaurants.

In a special session vote that mostly followed party lines, the Iowa House voted Sunday 56-44 to ban karaoke singing in most public places in Iowa. “The William Hung Act,” named after former “American Idol” contestant and 2007 Iowa State Fair headliner William Hung, would “protect all Iowa bars and restaurants from the scourge of off-key, out-of-time singing that fosters bad musical taste and encourages excessive drinking.”

Much like the “Smokefree Air Act” the House approved earlier this month, the bill has drawn the ire of its opponents — namely Asian business owners, whiskey distillers, the deaf and Republicans — and is being celebrated by holier-than-thou Democrats, professional musicians, video game vendors and pool player unions.

“The Democrats better change their tune,” said Christopher Rants, Iowa House Republican Leader. “First, they tried to ban smoking, now they want to dictate entertainment. What’s next? Forcing bar owners to use antibacterial urinal blocks and screens?”

One of the bill’s authors, Des Moines Democrat Janet Peterson, said it’s time to halt karaoke singing not only because it is in bad taste, but because it could also affect tourism.

“Look, it’s bad enough we have people out there butchering Frank Sinatra and Journey songs with no regard for those of us who are fans and can no longer listen to our favorite artists because these hacks have ruined them forever,” Peterson said. “But when you think about how embarrassing it is to host a guest from out of town, only to have some drunk seeking their 15 minutes of fame remind those visitors why the rest of the country thinks we’re a bunch of hicks, you begin to see why this bill is necessary.”

Henry and Kim Santos of Waukee frequent Des Moines area bars and restaurants that host karaoke. They say singing in front of strangers to pre-recorded music pumped through inexpensive Peavy sound systems is soothing, and it helps them pass the time during the week when they’re not watching their favorite television shows “American Idol” and “Lost,” or blogging about them.

“If it wasn’t for karaoke, I might not have met the man of my dreams,” said Kim Santos, while pinching her husband’s cheek. “Thank goodness for Tuesday karaoke nights at Smokey’s BBQ.”

Henry Santos agreed, noting that karaoke is a way to express emotions.

“Everybody has a Meatloaf or B-52’s song inside that’s just busting to get out,” he said. “These people who criticize karaoke singers, they’re just jealous. They wish they had the courage we did.”

Anyone who has ever attended or participated in a karaoke session knows that often times a singer’s courage is aided by powerful drinks — namely whiskey, tequila and vodka — which is why lobbyists for liquor companies are fighting the proposed ban.

“Everybody knows that karaoke and drinking go hand-in-hand,” said Billy Buzzcock, president of the Iowa Liquor Consortium. “Like yellow teeth and smoking, or mucus and a cold.”

Now that the bill has passed the House, it goes to the Iowa Senate, where it likely will be received with mixed blessings. Already, two of Iowa’s most popular politicians, U.S. Sens. Tom Harkin and Charles Grassley, have joined together to fight it, vowing, “We’re gonna fight, for your right, to party.” In a joint statement, the senators said that House File 8675309 not only would adversely affect sales of hard liquors at most drinking and eating establishments during the week, but would “hinder the options of those with little to no singing ability to exercise their God given right to make fools of themselves in public.”

Scene notes
Not to be outdone by “Hannah Montana” star Miley Ray Cyrus, who last week filed papers in court to legally change her given name Destiny Hope Cyrus to her stage name, Slipknot singer and Des Moines native Corey Taylor has filed papers with the Iowa Supreme Court to change his name to No. 8. Members of Slipknot are referred to by fans and on their albums as numbers zero through eight — and Taylor is No. 8. But sources close to Taylor said the name change is just another example of the one-upmanship between Cyrus and Taylor. “Corey is insanely jealous of Miley’s singing ability and her new-found fame,” said a former Slipknot roadie who requested to remain anonymous for fear of retaliation by Maggots, the band’s hardcore fans. “He has a whole closet full of Hannah Montana outfits — it’s creepy.” Taylor, however, denies that there is any rivalry between he and Cyrus, adding that the name change is a matter of convenience. “It’s going to make life a lot easier in terms of signing autographs and writing checks,” Taylor said. … Jack Black shed some light on music camps with his popular 2003 movie, “School of Rock,” but is taking his act on the road, including a one-day stint in Clive. Black is revisiting his film role as teacher Dewey Finn — the frustrated heavy metal singer/guitarist who was kicked out of his band No Vacancy and forced to teach musical prodigies for a living — while fronting “Legend of the Rent Tour,” a traveling rock music camp packed with second-rate musicians. Former stars like Twisted Sister’s Dee Snider, Frank Stallone, Samantha Fox, the Crash Test Dummies, Toto keyboardist Steve Porcaro, Free drummer Simon Kirke and former Grand Funk Railroad bassist Mel Schacher join Black to host an all-day rock music fantasy camp Tuesday at the 92.5 KJJY Events Center. Camp registration is $87 (sack lunch included) and is open to musicians of all skill levels. The daylong event culminates with an informal concert that night sponsored by the Clive Jaycees to be held at the Events Center. Tickets to the show are $47.50. To register, call (800) 366-5329. … Local rapper $trick9 guest stars on Rep. Ed Fallon’s independent CD, “Ode to a Hot Planet,” by helping the Iowa Democrat remake Edwin Starr’s classic protest hit, “War.” Fallon, who is known outside the Legislature as a fine squeezebox player, not only plays accordion throughout the CD, but demonstrates a deft ability as a didgeridoo player on an original song called “PAC Man” [think the melody of the Beatles’ “Taxman”] dedicated to Leonard Boswell, his opponent this fall in the Third Congressional District race. Not to be outdone, Boswell reportedly is set to release an album of his own. Rumor has it that the Vietnam veteran has recorded a disturbing version of Jimi Hendrix’s “Machine Gun,” featuring Boswell’s poetry set to samples of gunfire. Boswell is also said to have covered the late rap star Tupac Shakur’s “Hit ‘Em Up,” in an effort to diss Fallon. … First, guitarist Brandon Darner suffers a stroke, now comes news that The Envy Corps singer Luke Pettipoole nearly choked to death on a salami sandwich, and the band has been forced to cancel its shows this weekend in Pleasant Hill. “Thank goodness David paid attention during those CPR classes we took together at Iowa State,” Pettipoole told Spin magazine after bassist David Yoshimura performed the Heimlich Maneuver to save his bandmate’s life. “I wasn’t sure I was going to have enough to get that salami out of him, but the good Lord gave me the strength.” Doctors said Pettipoole’s singing voice should return to normal next week, though they advised he only eat ham. CV

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