Winners

The Drake men’s basketball team completed another chapter in its feel-good story of an otherwise gloomy winter by cutting down the nets Saturday at home and celebrating their Missouri Valley Conference regular-season championship after defeating Wichita State 73-63. The Bulldogs finished the regular season with a conference record of 15-3 — their first title since 1971 — and an overall record of 25-4, which is sure to get them a good seed in the NCAA tournament. The Bulldogs earned a first-round buy in their conference tournament, which opens in St. Louis today. When was the last time that happened? Let’s hope the magic continues for the Bulldogs as they enter post-season play. Regardless of whether they win the conference tourney (the last top seeded team to do so was Illinois State in 1998) or how far they advance in the NCAA tournament, coach Keno Davis (a shoe-in for conference coach of the year and possible national coach of the year) and his staff and team have given Bulldogs fans a season to remember.

They are molding our kids’ young minds, so they shouldn’t be losing their own brain cells. Last week, West Des Moines Community Schools decided to administer drug tests to employees, both current and prospective. The practice is uncommon in most public schools. Any employee who tests positive or has a blood alcohol level of .04 or more, could be fired or forced into professional help to save their job. Urine or breath tests could begin in July. Employees will be required to submit a sample if a witness reports the employee engaging in drugs or alcohol at work, they appear physically impaired or acting strangely, “a reliable and creditable source” reports alcohol or drug abuse away from work, tampering with a drug or alcohol test or if the employee leaves evidence at work or in a work related vehicle indicating drug use or sales.

Losers

Bang your head, but keep it down. The Des Moines City Council enacted a change to the city’s noise ordinance last week. The ordinance will reduce the loudness of amplified sound from 100 decibels to 85 decibels allowed in areas of the city. It also reduced the times sound can be amplified to midnight on weekends and 10 p.m. Sunday through Thursday. The ordinance also affects music played on patios, limiting the sound to 65 decibels. An ordinance for entertainment districts will be discussed and voted on at a later time. Good news for the cranky resident whom continually yells “keep it down,” bad news for their neighbor who blasts Whitesnake and pounds PBRs while working on his “not street legal” hotrod in the front yard. In another boneheaded decision, the City Council came up with another way to throw your money down the crapper as they voted to increase residents’ sewer rates by 6 percent each year for the next three years. The raise is intended to help pay for a federally mandated $250 million overhaul to the city’s sewer system. Rates are proposed to increase from $3.75 to $3.96 per 1,000 gallons of water. Also, don’t forget about that $4.40 monthly sewer availability fee.

Add this to the “stupid criminal” file. Des Moines police are looking for a 25-year-old man with a suspended driver’s license on probation for theft, who robbed a convenience store last. How to the police know so much about the man who stole $115 from the Git-N-Go store, 865 42nd St.? He left his jacket behind at the scene of the crime and police found a W-2 form in a pocket. When they showed the clerk a photo of the man, the clerk confirmed it was the robber.

As much as we defend the media’s right to know everything, it seems the Drudge Report crossed the line last week by reporting the whereabouts of Prince Harry, forcing Britain’s defense chief to immediately pull the prince out of Afghanistan where he had been serving unbeknownst to most people on the front lines since mid-December. Military officials decided to withdraw the prince for fear news coverage could put him and his comrades in jeopardy. Britain’s ministry had asked the media not to speculate on Harry’s location until he was back home.

Maxim magazine apologized for publishing a negative review of the Black Crowes’ new album, “Warpaint,” in its March issue by a writer who hadn’t listened to the entire CD. The band claims the writer did not hear the whole album because advance copies weren’t available, and it has released only one song from the disc. Incredibly, the reviewer gave the album, er, one song (“Goodbye Daughters of the Revolution”) two-and-one-half stars out of five. The magazine’s editorial director apologized for the error saying, “It is Maxim’s editorial policy to assign star ratings only to those albums that have been heard in their entirety.” Hey Maxim, it’s been seven years since the Crowes’ last released an album. What’s the hurry? As for the Crowes, if their recent “comeback” performances are any indication of what is in store for their new album, perhaps an honest review (though certainly a complete one) is deserved. CV

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