Winners

The New York Giants shocked the world by defeating New England in the Super Bowl and ending the previously undefeated Patriots’ chance at history. Actually, it was hard to decide whether the Giants winning the game was a bigger deal than the Patriots losing it, but in the end, history remembers winners. Does anyone even remember who the Dolphins beat in the 1972 Super Bowl to cap what is still the only undefeated season in NFL history? So, kudos to the Giants for pulling off the monumental upset. All that’s left is for Patriots coach Bill Belichick to cry himself to sleep on his red, sleeveless sweatshirt until training camp begins.

Congratulations to the Principal Charity Classic. The golf event, sponsored by Principal Financial Group Inc., has been named one of the top 10 events of the PGA Champions Tour, ranked fourth out of the 26 events the tour participates in. The Principal Charity Classic was also named the most improved event. More than 60,000 people attended last year’s event, raising $575,000. The Principal Charity Classic also received four “Brassie Awards” for advertising and marketing — first place for ticket brochure; runner-up for television advertisement; runner-up for radio advertisement and runner-up for outdoor advertisement. Principal Financial Group Inc. and Wells Fargo & Co. have committed to title and presenting sponsor of The Principal Charity Classic through 2010.

Fans get ready, it might be time to let the Led out. At a press conference on Jan. 28, Led Zeppelin guitarist Jimmy Page announced that if the band would reunite for a large scale tour, it wouldn’t happen until at least September. Page, who was promoting “Mothership,” a Zeppelin two-cd/dvd set, cited other commitments, including Robert Plant’s tour with Allison Krauss, as the reason for a September start, if the tour was to happen. Plant, who was interviewed at halftime of a New York Knicks game, said about the tour, “You never know what is around the corner.” With those secret, yet encouraging words, fans can start imagining a trip “Over the Hills and Far Away” in the near future.

Tired of those long evenings waiting for your dealer to call you back, only to find out he can’t get his hands on any pot and you’ll just have to raid your parent’s medicine cabinet once again? Well, fear not, because Los Angeles, the city that popularized the fast food drive-thru, has a new innovation for us: 24-hour medical marijuana vending machines. Patients suffering from chronic pain, loss of appetite and other ailments that marijuana is said to alleviate can get their pot with a dose of convenience at three large machines that will dole out the drug around the clock to people who carry cards authorizing marijuana use. Now, if they could just install that Doritos vending machine next door, the world would be just about perfect.

Loser

“Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane!” It’s a U.S. spy satellite? An out-of-control spy satellite is expected to crash in late February or early March, according to the Pentagon. Without knowing where it might land, Department of Defense spokesman Bryan Whitman said the satellite, which lost power, would land “over the next several weeks.” Adding to the fear of a satellite falling from the sky, there are reports that it might leak out highly toxic substances. According to specialists, spy satellites are maneuvered in space at a low orbit meeting military surveillance needs, requiring them to be tanked up with highly toxic hydrazine fuel. Hydrazine is harmful to the human central nervous system and can be fatal in big doses. However, it breaks down quickly in heat and ultra-violet light. Specialists stated the hydrazine would burn off if the fuel tank breaks when re-entering the atmosphere. Or so they hope.

Is there any elected official in Pleasantville who doesn’t drink? On Jan. 26, the mayor of Pleasantville, Joe Van Haalen, was taken into custody and placed in the Marion County Jail for operating while intoxicated shortly after 2 a.m. Van Haalen is the second elected official in the past three months to face alcohol-related charges. In November, authorities stopped City Council member Chad DeJoode after it was reported he was driving recklessly and failed to stop at a stop sign. DeJoode was placed in a patrol car, but allegedly fled to a nearby house. He was arrested several hours later, charged with intoxication and interfering with an officer. Looks like happy hour starts early and runs late at city hall.

Sen. Chuck Grassley did not endear himself to New Yorkers when he blamed the Big Apple’s “lifestyle” and “personality” for its former mayor, Rudy Giuliani’s, failure to win over Middle America. The reaction to his comments was quick and to the point, in typical New York style. The New York Daily News called Grassley a “dour, 74-year-old Corn Belt Republican,” who needed to “shtick it!” The paper also assaulted Grassley’s wardrobe, saying he wears “polyester, waffle-weave, flame-retardant pants that look like they survived the high waters.” Columnist Jimmy Breslin said Grassley was “another one of those low-IQ loudmouths.” In a follow-up article (yes, there was a follow-up article), one reader said “Rather than dis Sen. Grassley, I sentence him to life in Iowa.” CV

Comment on this story | Return to top