Winners

Now that Mary Stier, publisher and president of The Des Moines Register, has announced that she is leaving the newspaper on Sept. 7, to become CEO of The Brilliance Group [was “I’m A Genius, Inc.” already taken?], we would like to take this opportunity to thank her for all of her “accomplishments.” After all, it was Stier who helped soften The Register’s newsroom by hiring writers with little or no investigative skills; who did the unthinkable by allowing advertising on the front page; who launched an inexcusible faux alt-weekly; who consolidated the paper’s business and agriculture sections; who made sure The Register became a cheerleader for big business and the Greater Des Moines Partnership [which she once led]; who oversaw the paper’s most effeminate approach to date — from news coverage and editorials, to fu-fu designs and the launching of special products aimed at older women [looks like The Register was a test-run for her to “serve aspirational boomer women”]; who helped The Register buy out its competition, The Press Citizen, then promptly dumped it in favor of The Register’s watered-down “community issues”; and who booked herself to speak at this year’s Smart Talk Women’s Lecture Series, then deferred her “speaking fee” of $10,000 to be donated to charity [like any of us were buying that]. But fear not, fans of The Register who are sad to see Stier go. She might be leaving the paper, but she isn’t leaving town and we’re sure Des Moines will be a better place after she gets The Brilliance Group up and running. As for The Register, we can assure you another politically correct bean counter is on the way to take her place.

We’re a little surprised they hadn’t done this before, but better late than never and congrats to Adventureland for deciding to go smoke-free.

More than 1,000 4-year-old children in Des Moines will have the opportunity to attend preschool for free this year thanks to a state-wide voluntary early childhood initiative signed into law by Gov. Chet Culver. Parents and guardians are eligible to apply for the program by Aug. 31, with 42 potential preschool locations to choose from.

Good news for convicts: the Iowa Supreme Court has lowered the amount of cash needed to get out of jail. A reduction in the cost of bail bonds allows more people to pay the 10 percent needed for release, officials say. For example, bond for first-offense drunken driving will drop from $1,950 to $1,000.

Drake University climbed from seventh to fifth place in the “Great Schools, Great Prices” rankings and improved its score for academic quality and overall score in the Midwest Master’s Universities category of the 2008 edition of “America’s Best Colleges,” published by U.S. News & World Report magazine. Go Bulldogs.

Losers

C&D Distributors of South Carolina put the screws to taxpayers when the small parts supplier collected about $20.5 million over six years from the Pentagon for fraudulent shipping costs, including $998,798 for sending two 19-cent washers to an Army base in Texas. The company also billed and was paid $455,009 to ship three machine screws costing $1.31 each to Marines in Iraq, and $293,451 to ship an 89-cent split washer to Patrick Air Force Base in Florida.

Former major league all-star baseball player Jose Offerman was arrested last week on assault charges after he was hit by a pitch in a minor league game in Bridgeport, Conn., and charged the mound with his bat and swung at least twice, striking the opposing team’s pitcher and catcher. Offerman, who plays for the Long Island Ducks, was suspended by the Atlantic League. But suspension for such behavior isn’t enough. He should be banned from baseball.

President Bush’s cronies continue to leave him. Last week, W’s longtime political strategist Karl Rove — the man W used to call “Boy Genius” and who helped him get elected twice — announced his resignation from the White House. A few days later, Rep. Dennis Hastert of Illinois, who served as speaker of the House longer than any other Republican in history, announced he, too, is stepping down at the end of his term next year. At least we know they are retiring. Last week, the Associated Press uncovered a resignation letter from former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld that the Pentagon denied existed as recently as four months ago. Rumsfeld wrote the four paragraph, 148-word letter to W a day before the Nov. 7, 2006 election. In the letter, the words “Iraq” or “war” don’t appear. Only vague references like “a critical time in our history” and “challenging time for our country” were used. According to a stamp on the letter, Bush’s office acknowledged receipt of the letter the next day, as voters were headed to the polls. Bush announced Rumsfeld’s departure a day later after Republicans lost control of Congress. CV

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