By Jim Duncan CVFDude@aol.com
Absolute
Flavors/Smokey D’s BBQ
 Absolute
Flavors/Smokey D’s (AFSD) is an
odd name for an authentic barbecue.
Fortunately, few people pay attention
to the literal meaning of words
anymore. Unfortunately, we do
at Cityview, so for the record,
“absolute flavors” are by definition
“extracted with solvents and further
distilled with ethanol.” They
are a billion dollar segment of
the industrial food complex in
which scientists labor with all
sorts of things to simulate something
natural. And they have absolutely
nothing to do with the new Q on
the north edge of town. Like “killer
chili,” Absolute Flavors is an
antagonym, a part of speech that
holds contradictory meanings.
That’s not the only odd thing
about this place. Typical barbecues
don’t serve croissants, or “portabello
and boursin wraps.” Because AFSD
does, you can call them the first
“metro sexual barbecue” and “carry-out
tea room” in Iowa, except that
the teas are all bottled the way
barbecue people like them.
More importantly, AFSD is a
barbecue of extraordinary repute.
Both owner-chefs, Darren Warth
and Shad Kirton, are professional
competition circuit heavyweights.
Warth is without question the
“baddest” Iowan on the circuit.
He’s won major awards at both
The Jack Daniels and The American
Royal. Those are to Q what The
Masters and The Open are to golf.
Kirton has his share of ribbons,
too, but until recently he was
handicapped by also running David’s
Milwaukee Diner in the Hotel Pattee,
one of the state’s best restaurants
before the hotel folded last year.
Now he can smoke meat 24-7.
Smoking to impress judges is
different from smoking for the
lunch rush hour. That’s why barbecue
champs don’t always have good
restaurants. It’s also why dining
on Q requires more work out of
the customer. For instance, smoked
brisket is best when sliced warm
after resting from its long smoky
toil. You can’t expect that during
lunch hour. You can expect it
by appointment. Also, ribs have
an incredibly short window of
perfection, when they are tender
enough to pull easily from the
bone, but not so mushy that they
fall off the bone. Pulled pork
is more forgiving. Smoked boneless
turkey breasts are metro sexual
barbecue that we won’t discuss
today.
Given all that, AFSD is the
best among the zillion new barbecues
in town. My first visit produced
perfect ribs, which was no surprise
since ribs put the most medals
on Warth’s chest. It also produced
mediocre brisket, which had been
cooled and sliced and reheated.
However, when I asked, I was told
how and when I could get some
sliced fresh and warm. My second
visit delivered the kind of brisket
that I dream about between trips
to Luling, Llano and Lockhart,
the holy Texas trinity of brisket
towns. The crunch of perfectly
smoked deckle sealed the deal.
I also enjoyed burnt ends that
could have impersonated those
that Calvin Trillin famously dreamed
about while dining at Maxim’s
in Paris. A third visit delivered
pulled-pork which was quite good,
but needed the option of a good
vinegar-based sauce.
AFSD makes no sauce. “Why try
to reinvent the wheel?” Warth
explained. They rely here (and
in competition) on Russ &
Franks, a sweet, tomato-based
sauce made locally. That’s OK
for brisket and ribs and the super
lean turkey breast, but not for
pulled pork. The side dishes din’t
re-invent any wheels either. Potato
salad and cucumber-onion slaw
were best (the latter made a surrogate
topping for the pulled pork),
marinated veggies (broccoli dominant)
were the most metro sexual, and
baked beans and cole slaw the
most familiar.
Other tearoom items included
Greek salads and chicken salad
with grapes and almonds. Cookies,
brownies and “Dodie bars” (Shad’s
Aunt Dodie invented them) provided
the essential third course that
makes state of the art Q well
rounded.
Side dish
Blue Gate Organic Farm of Columbia
was nearly wiped out by a row
crop farmer spraying pesticides
on a windy day. The poisonous
drift killed about 80 percent
of Blue Gate’s entire gardens.
It will take years before they
can again qualify as organic again.
… Café di Scala celebrates
its second anniversary this week.
Owner/chef Tony Lemmo will offer
special dinners this weekend and
Hot Club of Des Moines will perform.
CV
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