KC BBQ
KC
BBQ is the most eagerly anticipated
debutante at Des Moines’ smokehouse
ball, occupying prime urban real
estate behind the state Capitol
and down the road from Big Daddy’s,
the late Ike Seymour’s hallowed
pit. Since Ike’s demise, good
inner city Q has come with limitations:
Uncle Wendell’s Bakery smokes
superb brisket and pork butt on
weekdays, but that Sherman Hill
place is a carryout-only operation
in cold weather; El Bait Shop
is a fine fisher of smoked meats,
but, except for daily specials,
it’s all applied to a Mexican
menu.
KC teased customers for weeks
with a large woodpile, suggesting
it would be the real, slow food
thing. So, we were there for Opening
Day, which was rained out by a
“late inspection.” The next day,
the place looked like a virtual
gold mine — every seat was occupied
with a dozen other folks standing,
but mostly without food. My friend
Bobby and I ordered together and
he was served in less than five
minutes. Forty minutes later,
my order still wasn’t ready. I
explained that my ride couldn’t
wait any longer and I was grudgingly
given a refund, but no apology.
Bobby said I got a better deal
than he did. His brisket sandwich
consisted of cold meat on cold
white bread, even though the photo
he pointed to when ordering showed
a hoagie bun. It seemed skimpy
too, and his baked beans were
two inches deep in extremely sweet
liquid. Tables were bussed slowly.
Bobby, a restaurant professional,
said nothing was done about his
complaints and he swore he’d never
come back.
I’m harder to discourage and
returned the next day, my third
attempt to actually taste something.
I was served in 20 minutes, but
second hand smoke was so intense
that some customers waited outdoors
— in single digit temperatures.
Spare ribs delivered large meaty
bones, but half their meat clung
stubbornly, even when being gnawed.
Baby backs were much better, with
good smoke ring and tender meat.
Excellent French fries saved the
day with fresh cut potatoes hot
from the fryer. Chicken was unavailable.
Two days later, I ordered spare
ribs again and they were perfect,
with tender meat, smoky flavor
and pronounced ring.
A sausage sandwich tragically
wasted the smokehouse. The link
had been split in half and grill
marks showed on both sides, dissipating
any smoke flavor, along with the
joy of biting into a natural casing.
The good French fries had been
replaced with mushy, frozen processed
fries.
I returned three days later
for the barbecued chicken, which
was charred black on the outside,
dry to the bone and yet had no
smokehouse flavor or ring. It
looked and tasted like it had
been grilled, inexpertly, not
smoked. Like Bobby’s brisket,
a pork shoulder sandwich had been
refrigerated before being sliced
super thin. Unlike his brisket,
it had been reheated, to various
textures. “Burnt ends” (of brisket)
might well have been the best
meat, but it was not possible
to order them without a dousing
in an extremely sweet sauce, more
like Cookie’s than Arthur Bryant’s
or Gates. Dreading the new fries,
I substituted slaw for a surcharge
— it was extremely sweet and liquid,
the opposite of pork sandwich
slaw.
After two weeks, orders were
being dispatched in reasonable
time and order-takers were asking
about a choice of hoagie or white
bread. The heavy smoke problem
had been adequately exhausted,
but the bussing problem had only
gotten worse. Messes lingered
on tables and even on the counter.
After tables were bussed, people
still complained that they were
“barely-wiped.” Much of the staff
had learned that apologies help
when people are distressed. Some
even offered tokens of apology.
Bottom line — This smokehouse
has promise, but it will never
get a second chance to make a
first impression.
Side dish
Chef Hal Jasa’s Underground restaurant
is limiting Valentine’s Day reservations
to 13 couples. The All-Aphrodisiac
dinner will include at least seven
courses and will be held on Feb.
16 at an undisclosed venue. Visit
www.desmoinesunderground.com.
CV
By Jim Duncan CVFDude@aol.com
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