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'My Super Ex-Girlfriend'

By Ben Spierenburg

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Devoid of any special powers, "My Super Ex-Girlfriend" reveals itself to be a disappointingly ordinary movie. While the film has a seemingly funny premise involving a crazed, super-heroine ex-girlfriend, director Ivan Reitman and screenwriter Don Payne do a halfhearted job of capitalizing on it, squandering a concept that could have been managed far better in the hands of more-inspired creators. Ostensibly looking to make a romantic-comedy while simultaneously satirizing the superhero genre, this filmmaking duo delivers a product with only a few mildly chuckle-worthy moments.

For Reitman, it's just the latest in a series of shoddy directing jobs. Twenty years ago, Reitman brought us such classics as "Ghostbusters" and "Animal House," but his once-super powers of directing have faded drastically since those halcyon days. In recent years he's been responsible for such flops as "Evolution," "Father's Day," and "Junior," in which he disgusted audiences worldwide with the image of a pregnant Arnold Schwarzenegger. While not nearly as awful as the aforementioned films, "My Super Ex-Girlfriend" is still far from super.

The film opens with a shot of the New York skyline, and soon we see G-Girl (Uma Thurman) in action. Darting above the city and leaving a spiraling blur in her wake, she stops a gang of thieves by picking up their getaway car and rather unceremoniously dropping it in front of a police station. A crowd of onlookers marvels and adores her; as not only does G-Girl possess all the same powers as "Superman," she's also clad in stylish black leather and is stunningly beautiful to boot. But, as we are soon to find out, just because a girl is super and sexy doesn't mean she's a keeper. Thurman gives a stellar performance throughout, but like a city without a superhero, the film suffers mightily when she's not around.
As you'd expect, G-Girl maintains a shy, reserved alter-ego as museum curator Jenny Johnson. Like most comic-book personalities, she strives to balance her superhero duties with her sex life, but it's a losing struggle, one that has left her emotionally unstable and extremely horny. Jenny is riding the subway one day when she gets asked out by lonely architectural designer Matt Saunders (Luke Wilson). The average, everyday nice guy, Matt gets turned down at first, but when a thief snatches Jenny's purse, he hunts down the cretin and gets it back. From then on, Jenny is smitten.

Wilson is good enough playing himself as the characterless Matt, but you get the feeling any number of other comic actors could've been better for the part. Rain Wilson plays Matt's geeky yet chauvinistic buddy Vaughn, who is always there to offer terrible, often repugnant advice regarding the fairer sex, even though he lacks any sort of success with the ladies himself. Matt also receives regular advice from coworker and competing love-interest Hannah (Anna Faris). Faris stays true to form, lending the film her standard dose of cutesy charm.

When Matt gets kidnapped by super villain Professor Bedlam (British comedian Eddie Izzard), Jenny is forced to rescue him, and afterwards she's obliged to inform him that he's been shagging a superhero. For a short time after, everything is hunky-dory between Jenny and Matt. But as the neurotic Jenny begins to use her powers to stalk her boyfriend at all hours of the day, she soon becomes jealous and suspicious. Her erratic, psychotic behavior leads Matt to break off the relationship, and the rest of the film becomes the spurned G-Girl carrying out one superhero revenge gag after another, most of which were shown in previews.

Overall, the film is loaded with tedious scenes and humorless jokes. The scenes with Rain Wilson (of "The Office" fame) are presumably supposed to be hilarious, but instead come off as annoying and stale. The same goes for all the painfully unfunny scenes with Matt's supervisor (played by the usually droll Wanda Sykes). CV

'Strangers With Candy'

By Kate Conlow

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IImagine a film that combines all the over-used jokes from the likes of Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell and the Wilson brothers, and you get "Strangers With Candy." If you enjoy this type of vapid humor, then "Strangers With Candy" may just be the movie for you. On the other hand, if you find the clichŽd way that nearly all "comedies" anymore attempt to shock viewers through absurd caricatures of stereotypes, this movie will send you into a bored stupor.

A prequel to the Comedy Central show "Strangers With Candy," the movie tells the story of Jerri Blank (Amy Sedaris), a frumpy 46-year-old ex-con who cakes on her make-up and wears a permanent frown. From her appearance to her actions (In one scene she describes herself, "Hello, I'm Jerri Blank and I'm an alcoholic. I'm also addicted to amphetamines as well as main-line narcotics. Some people say I have a sex addiction, but I think all those years of prostitution were just a means to feed my ravenous hunger for heroin."), Jerri is ridiculous in every way.

The movie begins when Jerri returns home after 32 years and finds her father comatose. As a result, Jerri decides that the key to waking her "daddy" is to begin her life again as a high school freshman. The movie follows Jerri's new life as she struggles to fit in and control her often-dangerous tantrums.

When Jerri decides that she needs to do something "special" at school to revive her dormant father, she signs up for the science fair. Her science fair coach and foe is Mr. Noblet, played by Stephen Colbert. In this character, Colbert's dry sarcasm and placid facial expressions, borrowed from his role as host of the "Colbert Report," rarely evoke even a snort of amusement, proving he really should stick to giving addresses at White House correspondent dinners.

For a cast that has been entertaining in the past, "Strangers With Candy"'s regurgitated jokes and boring plotline fail to impress. CV

'Hard Candy'

By Bethany Kohoutek

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"Hard Candy" is a film about what might have happened if Lolita went postal and got herself an Internet connection. Described as a "psychological thriller" by most reviewers, the film chronicles several hours of torture and the eventual demise of a pedophile, all at the hands of his 14-year-old intended conquest.

Teenager Hayley (Ellen Page) meets 32-year-old Jeff (Patrick Wilson) in a chat room, and after three weeks of sexually charged flirting, the two meet for coffee and eventually wind up at Jeff's posh, suburban home. At that point, the proverbial tables are turned. Hayley drugs Jeff, ties him up and embarks upon a day-long torture spree that includes Tazering, simulated castration and eventually leads to Jeff's undoing (I won't reveal exactly how).

The connections remain nebulous, but as the plot progresses with each scene trying to outdo the next, shudder-inducing torture tactics, it becomes clear that Hayley has somehow learned that Jeff is responsible for the rape and murder of another young girl. (Exactly how a 14-year-old has solved a high-profile crime when the cops haven't is never addressed.)

Plot, however, seems to be of secondary importance to the filmmakers, who appear more intent upon hammering home one message: Child molesters are evil and deserve to die an excruciating death. Near the end of the film, Hayley declares that she represents "every little girl" Jeff has ever fantasized about or hurt. No subtlety or abstraction here. The writer and director clearly set out to create a film that preaches the consequences of society's most-abhorred crime.

Admittedly, there's a good deal of satisfaction that comes from watching a victim outsmart, overtake and eventually exact retribution from her would-be abuser. It's gratifying to see a predator squirm and cry, beg for mercy and be reduced to victim status himself.

But "Hard Candy" takes this concept to an entirely new plane. The amount of calculated brutality carried out by a 14-year-old girl isn't just implausible, it's profoundly disturbing. Although the protagonist prevented the perpetrator from offending again, ultimately she - and this film as a whole - serve only to perpetuate the harmful notion of violence as a tool of power and control. CV

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