Chicken Coop Sports Bar & Grill

By Jim Duncan CVFDude@aol.com

In the 1960s my father wrote a short story about an employment agency that matched people with their real psychological aptitudes. The agency's founder was a frustrated champion pie-eater who believed "Millions of folks are born with unique talents. They know their true calling, they just don't know where to apply for the job. Until they do, society has no chance for greatness." With that pitch, he landed huge grants from newly created "Great Society" government agencies. His business flourished, and lots of previously dysfunctional people were happy, productive members of society. But the most popular profession in America became "hit men."

Of course, that couldn't happen today. The agency founder wouldn't be frustrated in the first place. Not with competition eating prizes of $100,000, plus the benefits of the celebrity status. Not with entry-level positions available at the neighborhood mall. Such were my thoughts on the wing-eating contest at the Chicken Coop Sports Bar and Grill last week.

I first heard about this restaurant before it even came to Iowa. Traveling salesmen mentioned it when asked, "What's the best place to eat in Grand Island, since the legendary Dreisbach closed?" I don't get many chances to have dinner in central Nebraska anymore, so I was glad to see Chicken Coop open in West Des Moines last year. On most of my visits, the place had a nice neighborhood vibe. Unlike most "bars," there is clear separation between smoking and non-smoking rooms, so it seems popular with soccer moms and softball teams. Mostly, it feels like a family place. The high definition televisions are sports-book quality - I have watched twelve different games at the same time.

The quality of the food depends on your expectations. This is not a steakhouse, but it's not a bad place for inexpensive steak dinners either ($11-$15). They serve Creekstone Farms "certified humane" beef. That company famously sued the USDA after the government stopped it from testing its beef, at its own expense, to stringent Japanese standards. I liked the ribeye - it's too thin for rare orders, but well enough marbled to eat medium. It's not for anyone on a low-fat diet, those for whom the sirloins might satisfy. Oddly, no bread was served with dinner. Side dishes (creamy roast corn, buffalo chips, beer fries, cole slaw, etc.) provided great choice, but no fresh tastes.

Other selections were not as straight-forward as the steaks. The place touts its grilled wings, with many, mostly super-sweet, sauces. They wisely leave large rolls of paper towels on each table. Fryer cooks are as busy as grill cooks here. The pork tenderloin was a tasty product, but the chicken-fried steak was strangely different, making me think these breaded dishes originated in different labs, rather than the same kitchen.

A closer look at the menu left little doubt. Items wear brands of the nation's top food processors - McCain, Applebee's, Simplot, Tyson, etc.. For Chicken Coop's anniversary celebration, the industry brought out its big guns -- the "High Voltage Girls." Two other major brands sent their hit girls to the party, too. We were told these "were really hot girls who work for our food company. They will be bringing out all kinds of new foods, and you can vote to see which ones will be on our menu."

Grand Island is ground zero in American food processing. Why wouldn't it export the hottest fashions from that industry? Now with West Des Moines as its test market, you can be the first to try next year's brand-name franchise superstars. Eat them till you throw up, or win a contest. How much voltage can a family restaurant stand?

Food skinny

Belwood French Bakery closed. Its outlet at Valley West Mall is now supplied by Sweet Binney's, an upgrade... Silvestrini's Pizza and Gino's Food Products teamed to sell Silvestrini's celery seed salad dressing to grocery stores. CV

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