Winners

Much like the paper itself, The Register's Annual Great Bicycle Race Across Iowa isn't as good as it used to be, becoming, over the years, a dumbed-down version of its once-proud self, and, like our state, seemingly antiquated from its riders on down. But even that can't keep us from lavishing the daily with mad props on this year's route selection. Not only does the ride run through Central Iowa (where the money and people are) and close to Iowa City (a rowdy college environment - even in the summer), the group down on Locust Street showed it actually might understand a little about Iowans when it chose the fragile community of Newton to play a prominent role, as well. Newton, whose Maytag industry and lifeblood is up in the air, has pinned its hopes on a racetrack. But maybe a night of cheap kegged beer and people urinating on its residents' lawns will make them forget about it all for a little while.

Losers

We expect much from rising political stars like Rep. Janet Petersen, so you can imagine our disappointment when the metro legislator joined the wasting-time gang by proposing a law that would make it illegal for kids under 18 to rent or buy violent video games. Petersen, working for "the good of the children," set aside parental logic and went for the evening news clips and newspaper headlines despite the fact that video games already have a ratings system that works. Never mind that mom and dad might want a say in what junior is doing, never mind that trampling on free speech is unconstitutional, and never mind that Petersen's bill is all bark and no bite, as it wouldn't make it illegal for kids to play the games just to rent or buy them, Petersen is of the mindset that when all else fails, the people should expect their morally sound government to help decide what is and what is not acceptable for the children. And while her intentions are both offensive and ignorant, what is even more insulting is her grandstanding at a time when state leaders need to stay focused on issues that might actually be of some use.

Stupid kids, their stupid parents and a number of stupid school administrators continued with a fresh batch of loser talk last week at the second statewide public hearing regarding whether or not Iowa high school athletes should be able to play sports even if they are failing out of school. The arguments, thus far, have bordered on asinine (kids won't challenge themselves, it's hard on minorities, etc.), but Drew Wiggin, a high school student from Stanton, took the cake when he pulled a "Jeff Spicoli" during the heated Thursday discussion, saying, "The state board's proposed rule takes away the motivation of working hard." Um, Drew, get back to class.

You have to love Rob Borsellino and Rekha Basu, the "I Love Lucy Show" of political commentary. Last Wednesday, while Rob was sarcastically bashing conservatives about getting too worked up over the brainwashing power of movies, his wife was pleading for government intervention to stop Wal-Mart from building a bigger store in Iowa City. Her rationale? She had seen a movie about how Wal-Mart ate American values. Oh that silly Lucy. Did she forget about Ricky's recent gig at Wal-Mart, when he confessed his midnight habit of shopping there? It would all be such fun if it didn't play into conservatives' hands, if Rekha didn't keep dressing up in stereotypes of liberal biddies. Reading both halves of the duo last week, it simultaneously derided folks who hold conservative values for overreacting to liberal-approved lifestyles in the arts, while elevating leftist movie propaganda about capitalism into the holy cause of defending small-town values. However, Iowa City doesn't need Rekha's help to save its soul. Like other fast-growing liberal havens (Santa Fe, Boulder, Austin, etc.), it's not just a hippie or college town anymore. Its liberal lifestyle has attracted so much business and suburban growth that it's now a truly multicultural place - home to people with different values, who need to be tolerant of everyone's shopping habits. CV

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