By Erin Randolph erin@dmcityview.com

Piano men have us feelin' all right at A.K.'s

There's a dead ringer for Huey Lewis who hangs out at A.K. O'Connor's West Des Moines. With a big, fuzzy pompadour, black trench coat and an uncanny facial resemblance, he's standing at the bar yet again when the Bar Fly arrives on a recent Wednesday night with Drinking Assistants Jen and Nicole.

Huey's (we'll just call him that, since we don't know his real name) an A.K. O'Connor's fixture, as we see him here almost every time we come to this West Side hangout. Rumor has it - and this is just a rumor - that he was an extra on "Dallas," playing a bartender whenever one was needed. Of course, we've never verified this, because the rumor has the potential to be so much more interesting than the truth.

But anyway, we're here on a Wednesday because we've heard great things about the weekly Pianopalooza that takes place. Dual pianos are set up so that their players -Tony Bohnenkamp and Jared Hall - face each other while they tag team popular - and most of the time predictable - songs. After we pay our $2 cover and marvel at Huey's likeness, we grab our $3 bottles of beer and head for a table near the stage of this Irish-inspired bar.

(It should be mentioned here, that this A.K.'s location has two separate rooms divided by a winding hallway that leads to the bathrooms. One room holds the main bar, kitchen and stage area for live music. The other, offering a reprieve from the din of the music, houses four pool tables, a small bar, Big Buck Hunter, SilverStrike Bowling and a jukebox. This is a great place to play pool, though the cues leave much to be desired in the way of quality.)

There's a healthy crowd already seated and drinking as Pianopalooza gets underway about 9 p.m., though it's not nearly as bustling as we'd anticipated. We expected to have to stand, but are relieved to see empty tables. (We'll warn you now. Live music in this place is loud. Very loud. Don't expect to have a conversation with anyone but the person right next to you unless you plan on yelling - or perhaps signing. Our advice: choose the seating arrangement wisely.)

Huey disappears almost immediately, which we're disappointed about. We want to snap his picture. But alas, our desire for "celebrity" look-alikes is quenched when we realize we're seated next to a younger Tana Goertz. (OK, so we use the term "celebrity" very loosely; we are in Iowa, after all.) You might remember Tana from her runner up finish (and subsequent temper tantrum) on NBC's "The Apprentice." We also find it a bit ironic that our Tana look-alike is seated next to a woman with a Bedazzled purse, essentially tacky gemstones that can be attached to clothing accessories with a "as seen on television" tool called a Bedazzler. Tana's hearing "you're fired" on "The Apprentice" earned her a prestigious spokeswoman-type position for the product, making us wonder just how valuable her nationally televised "apprenticeship" actually was.

But anyway, we digress. Tony and Jared are up on stage pounding away at their pianos, belting out tunes into the microphone and encouraging the room to tip, clap, drink and request as they work their way through a set of songs like Billy Joel's "Movin' Out" (also know as the heart attack ack ack ack ack ack song), Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" and "Faithfully" and Van Morrison's "Brown Eyed Girl." And, quite frankly, even though the song choices are, for the most part, foreseeable, it's really a lot of fun.

So much fun, in fact, that "Tana" at one point jumps on her chair and starts shaking her junk while some guy stuffs a buck in her trousers. That, coupled with the upper-middle-aged white guy who's busting some precarious "Walk Like An Egyptian"-type moves, is a live demonstration of the serious inhibition-lowering power of alcohol and catchy pop tunes.

But not even that could prepare us for what was yet to come. Though we came to A.K. O'Connor's for the promise of two piano key-punching guys singing some nostalgic tunes, we couldn't have predicted that Hall would strap on an accordion, and that the two local musicians would serenade the room with a strange polka-piano-metal rock block that included snippets of songs like Quiet Riot's "Come On Feel the Noise," Ozzy Osbourne's "Crazy" and Pink Floyd's "The Wall." It was some seriously strange, Weird Al Yankovic-type stuff. (Read: it was awesome.)

A.K.'s is a pretty decent place to spend a weekday or weekend night. It pulls in a lot of former Valley High School students, especially during college breaks. On this night, however, for some particular reason we couldn't get a cocktail waitress to stop at our table once during the course of our three-hour stay (OK, one stopped once - to empty our ashtray), while she stopped repeatedly at Tana's table. We reason that must be a luxury reserved for celebrity look-alikes.

We get in a few requests - our plea for Neil Diamond's "Holly Holy" is met with a disappointingly predictable "Sweet Caroline," instead, though we're pleased they oblige our second, Prince's "Purple Rain" - and we're entertained long enough to blow through what little cash we came in the door with. It's nearing midnight, so we head out to get some sleep before our early morning alarm. But of course, we've still got Johnny Cash's "Folsom Prison Blues" ringing in our heads. We'll be back for more Pianopalooza, and hopefully Huey and Tana will be, too.

Bar notes

Polk County Paul will return to make a Groundhog Day prediction on Thursday, Feb. 2, at 7:30 a.m. when the High Life Lounge will mark its one-year anniversary. Free keg beer will be given to those in attendance from 6 to 8 a.m. And as a nod to Bill Murray's "Groundhog Day," the second annual grand opening festivities will start at 6 a.m., and those brave enough to call in sick for the occasion should bring in their own prescription or doctor's note in exchange for a free High Life draw or shot of Tangermeister. CV

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