1 Mighty mouse
Karma's a bitch. An 81-year-old
New Mexico homeowner caught a
mouse inside his house last week,
threw it in a pile of burning
leaves near his home in an attempt
to get rid of it and left it for
dead. However, the flaming critter
ran back to the man's house, setting
it on fire and destroying all
of the contents in the home.
2 Still a Hawk
Despite likely being offered
the world by NFL teams that would
double the $2 million he brings
in annually, Iowa football coach
Kirk Ferentz thought it better
to remain in Iowa City and take
a shot at the national championship
next fall than struggle for a
few years with the likes of has-been
Brett Favre and the Green Bay
Packers or the never-will-be Houston
Texans.
3 We'd like to report
a rape
And it's of you, dear reader,
by feebly regulated energy companies,
like our very own Mid-American,
that are pocketing $700 million
more this winter than last on
the backs of hard-working Iowans
- many of whom had to skip Christmas
in order to heat their homes.
4 Suspects at large
And making the price gouging
even worse, a report commissioned
by the Iowa Department of Natural
Resources and released last week
showed that a whopping 37 percent
of the state's energy costs -
an eye-popping $3 billion - aren't
even going to local utility greed-mongers,
but instead are stuffing the coffers
of out-of-state corporations.
5 Dead horse
Dust-farting reptile Charles
Grassley informed his fellow U.S.
Senate Judiciary Committee members
that they were "beating a
dead horse" in their questioning
of Supreme Court nominee Samuel
Alito. Some of Grassley's peers
think misogynistic, bigoted Nazis
who always give the big guys a
break should be scrutinized a
little before given the keys to
the kingdom, while Grassley prefers
to give them softball questions
and confirmation hearings equivalent
to a hand job.
6 Fat and happy
A survey released last week
by the research group NPD found
that America's overall attitude
toward overweight people has slowly
shifted from rejection toward
acceptance. Over a 20-year period,
the percentage of Americans who
said they find fatties less attractive
steadily dropped from 55 percent
to 24 percent. Of course, those
polled have become - on average
- fatter themselves; and while
short people got no reason, fat
people actually need love.
7 Water under the bridge
After months of heated debate
about storm water runoff and traffic
issues stemming from the proposed
Tai Dam cultural center and adjacent
housing development in a green
space on the city's North Side,
incensed Lower Beaver residents
were turned into happy campers
when the city and developers agreed
to a number of compromises. Last
week the plan was finally approved
by the City Council, with one
previously pissed resident going
so far as to call the back-and-forth
a model of "the democratic
process in action."
8 Spin cycle
With the justice department
reportedly on the fence on whether
to approve the merger of Newton-based
Maytag and mega-manufacturer Whirlpool,
Sen. Tom Harkin and Rep. Leonard
Boswell did their best to try
to tip the scales in Iowans' favor,
sending a letter to the assistant
attorney general for antitrust
last week that alleged Whirlpool
already borders on a monopoly
and, with a Maytag merger, would
control a full 70 percent of the
laundry appliance sector.
9 Separation of powers
With the example of former state
transportation director Mark Wandro
still fresh in lawmakers' memory
after he left his post to take
a position with a private firm
well-served by a land deal he
wrapped up just before he left
the DOT, Bettendorf representative
Joe Hutter announced last week
that he'll introduce legislation
banning such incestuous jumps
to private companies with state
contracts for at least two years
after the resignation of a public
post.
10 Target Des Moines
Des Moines Police Chief William
McCarthy disclosed that our city
made Timothy McVeigh's short list
of places he wanted to blow up
before he settled on Oklahoma
City in 1995. McCarthy's brother
died in the attack, and the chief
wants $1.4 million to start a
terrorism task force in Des Moines.
So far, his request has fallen
on deaf ears.CV
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