1 Mighty mouse

Karma's a bitch. An 81-year-old New Mexico homeowner caught a mouse inside his house last week, threw it in a pile of burning leaves near his home in an attempt to get rid of it and left it for dead. However, the flaming critter ran back to the man's house, setting it on fire and destroying all of the contents in the home.

2 Still a Hawk

Despite likely being offered the world by NFL teams that would double the $2 million he brings in annually, Iowa football coach Kirk Ferentz thought it better to remain in Iowa City and take a shot at the national championship next fall than struggle for a few years with the likes of has-been Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers or the never-will-be Houston Texans.

3 We'd like to report a rape

And it's of you, dear reader, by feebly regulated energy companies, like our very own Mid-American, that are pocketing $700 million more this winter than last on the backs of hard-working Iowans - many of whom had to skip Christmas in order to heat their homes.

4 Suspects at large

And making the price gouging even worse, a report commissioned by the Iowa Department of Natural Resources and released last week showed that a whopping 37 percent of the state's energy costs - an eye-popping $3 billion - aren't even going to local utility greed-mongers, but instead are stuffing the coffers of out-of-state corporations.

5 Dead horse

Dust-farting reptile Charles Grassley informed his fellow U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee members that they were "beating a dead horse" in their questioning of Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito. Some of Grassley's peers think misogynistic, bigoted Nazis who always give the big guys a break should be scrutinized a little before given the keys to the kingdom, while Grassley prefers to give them softball questions and confirmation hearings equivalent to a hand job.

6 Fat and happy

A survey released last week by the research group NPD found that America's overall attitude toward overweight people has slowly shifted from rejection toward acceptance. Over a 20-year period, the percentage of Americans who said they find fatties less attractive steadily dropped from 55 percent to 24 percent. Of course, those polled have become - on average - fatter themselves; and while short people got no reason, fat people actually need love.

7 Water under the bridge

After months of heated debate about storm water runoff and traffic issues stemming from the proposed Tai Dam cultural center and adjacent housing development in a green space on the city's North Side, incensed Lower Beaver residents were turned into happy campers when the city and developers agreed to a number of compromises. Last week the plan was finally approved by the City Council, with one previously pissed resident going so far as to call the back-and-forth a model of "the democratic process in action."

8 Spin cycle

With the justice department reportedly on the fence on whether to approve the merger of Newton-based Maytag and mega-manufacturer Whirlpool, Sen. Tom Harkin and Rep. Leonard Boswell did their best to try to tip the scales in Iowans' favor, sending a letter to the assistant attorney general for antitrust last week that alleged Whirlpool already borders on a monopoly and, with a Maytag merger, would control a full 70 percent of the laundry appliance sector.

9 Separation of powers

With the example of former state transportation director Mark Wandro still fresh in lawmakers' memory after he left his post to take a position with a private firm well-served by a land deal he wrapped up just before he left the DOT, Bettendorf representative Joe Hutter announced last week that he'll introduce legislation banning such incestuous jumps to private companies with state contracts for at least two years after the resignation of a public post.

10 Target Des Moines

Des Moines Police Chief William McCarthy disclosed that our city made Timothy McVeigh's short list of places he wanted to blow up before he settled on Oklahoma City in 1995. McCarthy's brother died in the attack, and the chief wants $1.4 million to start a terrorism task force in Des Moines. So far, his request has fallen on deaf ears.CV

Comment on this story | Return to top