By Erin Randolph erin@dmcityview.com

Greenwood Lounge is a dive bar-lover's dive bar

"Hypothetically I have two coins in my hand that equal 55 cents. One is not a nickel. What are the two coins? And yes, it's American money."

This story problem came courtesy of a mustached, middle-aged man on his way back from the men's bathroom at the Greenwood Lounge, 3707 Ingersoll Ave., with the promise of a round of drinks should we be able to decipher the answer to his riddle. The Bar Fly and Drinking Assistant Nicole headed to the popular dive on a Friday night as reprieve from our visits to suburban strip malls as of late. We love a good dive, so we grab our cheap drinks - $2.50 domestic bottles - and sit in a narrow room adjacent the main room that houses exactly one booth, which offers a nice view of both the pool table and the door to the men's bathroom - which ponder us with some interesting encounters.

Like that mustached man, who, when he walks through the door to the bathroom, started a conversation. "There have been complaints about the noise back here, so could you keep it down?" he says in passing. "We're trying to drink out there," he says, referring to the room the houses the bar, the jukebox, most of the seating and the women's bathroom.

And amazingly enough, the women's bathroom is cleaner than the bar itself - even though neither of the doors close and lock. The linoleum floor of the Greenwood Lounge is a weird amalgamation of discolorations and sections that look like acid has eaten away at its tiles. The walls that are covered in dark wood have sections where the finish has turned yellow from wear. But in all its weathered glory, the Greenwood also has a chandelier hanging from the ceiling of the main room, although it almost fits, seeing as how it's dirty and ominous.

The early crowd is made up mostly of middle-aged people who, with their wobbly walking patterns, lead us to believe they've been here a while. But as they clear out almost completely by midnight, what's left is a young, laid-back crowd that enjoys cheap drinks from friendly bartenders in a comfortable atmosphere.

Well, it was comfortable until a scruffy guy in holey jeans approached us asking for money. He had some whole big story about how he had just moved to Des Moines to take a job at Firestone, but he forgot his wallet back in Iowa City. He needs some cash to get home. The Bar Fly gives him $2 to get going.

Not that the Bar Fly misses the money. The next time she heads to the bar, the bartender tells her that her beer is on the house - for no apparent reason other than that it is. Not one to argue when it comes to free drinks, the Bar Fly leaves a $2.50 tip and is on her way back to the side room for a game of pool with first-time Drinking Assistant Mike, where we close out the night. The Greenwood is a dive bar-lover's dive bar. Everyone's friendly, the tunes are oldies but really goodies, the atmosphere is a little iffy but ultimately charming in some odd, weather-beaten way and the drinks are cheap.

But let's return to the beginning of the night for a second. After a minute or so of contemplation, the Bar Fly comes up with the answer to the story problem posed by the mustached, middle-aged man on his way back from the bathroom. So, he has - hypothetically - two coins in his hand that equal 55 cents. One of them is not a nickel. The answer? A half dollar and a nickel, of course, because only one of the coins couldn't be a nickel, meaning one of them could be. And as promised, he buys us a round of drinks. CV

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