Son's shaving his legs is rough for mom to handle

DEAR ABBY: My son, "Max," is 14. We have always been able to talk about everything. I have always told him he could trust his father and me. I am very proud of him. But yesterday I was shocked speechless because Max shaved his legs. Although I almost had a heart attack, I tried to remain calm. He says that all his friends are doing it, and that the girls like it. His father sat down with him and told him that men do not shave their legs. My son says it is the fashion, and hairy legs are not "in." Max is a wonderful young man. People always tell me how lucky we are to have such a terrific son. Am I overreacting? I'm confused and beginning to feel the generation gap. -WORRIED MOM IN PUERTO RICO

DEAR WORRIED: While his explanation of "all my friends are doing it" might seem a plausible excuse to you, you might want to check into who these friends are. Because if you think your heart almost stopped from his shaving his legs, imagine what will happen when you walk in and he has a couple of nuts hanging over his nose.

DEAR ABBY: I am a single, 29-year-old male who has met a wonderful 20-year-old woman, "Robin." Would it be wrong for me to date Robin because of the age difference? I have never been married and have no kids. I have a great job and a home. I really like her. My 20s were wild. I loved them and did many amazing things. But now I am moving into my 30s, and Robin is barely starting her 20s. She hasn't experienced the bar scene or other things I have moved on from. I still love to hit a sports bar and grab a beer, but the late nights out and the all-nighters are over. Would it be wrong for me to deprive her of her chance to experience her 20s? -OLDER GUY BLUES IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR OLDER: Yeah, you definitely want to let her experience her 20s - so she can get drunk all the time and screw a bunch of different guys and pick up on the bitchy tendencies of her friends. Who would want an innocent 20-year-old for a wife who thinks the sun rises and sets in his pants and wants nothing more than to be a loyal wife?

DEAR ABBY: The bus stop for the elementary school students in our neighborhood is right in front of my driveway. I rarely sit outside and wait for my children to get on the bus, but the other day I did. Two neighbor boys, fifth- and third-graders, got into a fight on my front lawn. I refuse to tolerate fighting, so I went over and broke it up. The next two mornings, the same thing happened. My daughter told me they fight all the time, and it's been going on for more than a year. I want to put a stop to it, but I'm not sure how. I don't want to have to sit there every morning and break up the fight, but is it my duty to "tattle" to the parents? Both families have lived in the neighborhood for years, and both have expressed verbally that they never felt accepted. Both families also have the attitude that their children are always right and the rest of the neighborhood is always wrong. Bringing this up to either one could really cause an uproar. -BUS-STOP MOM IN UTAH

DEAR BUS-STOP: So don't bring it up. In fact, mind your own business. It sounds to me like you have too much time on your hands. My advice is to quit peering out your window and get up off your fat ass and drive your kid to school. Then it won't have anything to do with you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband of five years, "Jeff," is one of the most intelligent, loving, sensitive men I have ever met. However, the other day, my daughter, "Julie," reported that Jeff had touched her inappropriately two years ago when she was 10. She also quoted some inappropriate sexual comments he has made and said he had even flashed her once. As if that is not bad enough, she said Jeff had also been threatening her while I was at work, saying things like, "Your mother isn't here to save you." He has never hit either one of us. He is all bark and no bite, although he can be very scary when he is angry. The police and the Department of Human Services are now involved. Jeff has moved to a motel pending an investigation. I know my first concern should be for Julie, but I feel she is safe and happy. I am more upset about my husband. Even though I know he is an idiot for doing these things, and my daughter is afraid of him, I don't think he ever intended to molest or hurt her. But he has. So why do I want him back so much? I am afraid the detectives will force me to divorce him. I know Julie is not comfortable around him, but I keep hoping that family counseling and some therapy will solve the problem. Of course, I will always choose my child first, but when do I know when to give up on my marriage? - TORN IN TWO IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR TORN: "My husband of five years, Jeff, is one of the most intelligent, loving, sensitive men I have ever met - he just likes to finger my 10-year-old kid." So you want to know when do you give up on your marriage? When your husband would rather screw your daughter than you, threatens her and forces you to get the police involved. That sounds like a good time to me. CV

Comment on this story | Return to top