Roy's wiener too close for comfort
DEAR ABBY: I am 76, my wife is
65. Our neighbor "Roy"
is retired, but is probably less
than 60 years old. The fence between
Roy's property and ours is six
feet tall, but the wood has shrunk
and there are gaps of about half
an inch or more between the boards.
Abby, Roy likes to work nude in
his backyard and has told my wife
he does this. Otherwise, he seems
like a decent fellow. He has given
my wife nectarines from over the
fence, which is as close as I
want his naked presence to my
wife. Roy insists he has the "right"
to go naked in his own backyard.
Unfortunately, my wife agrees,
and tells me she's not looking.
I have asked her not to accept
any more gifts over the fence
from Roy and to keep her contact
with him to a minimum. Am I being
foolish? How would you recommend
I handle this? -TOO CLOSE FOR
COMFORT IN CALIF.
DEAR TOO: It seems that old dirty
Roy has you between a rock and
a hard place. Well, "it"
probably can't actually get hard
anymore, but he's got you in a
pickle because your wife likes
his nectarines and he's well within
his legal rights to let her handle
them from the sanctity of his
own backyard. My advice is to
grow elaborate rose bushes. Your
wife will think you romantic,
and if Roy tries to get too close,
his little prick will get a little
DEAR ABBY: I saw something today
that broke my heart. A woman who
appeared to be in her late 30s
was sitting in a restaurant with
a woman who looked to be in her
mid-70s. It may have been her
mother. The entire time I was
in the restaurant - about an hour
- I saw not one sign of verbal
or visual contact between them.
The reason? The younger woman
was on a hands-free cell phone,
talking office talk from the moment
their orders were placed. The
older woman sat eating her meal,
clearly with little interest and
no animation. When they were finished
eating, the younger one paid the
server, and then made a "let's
leave" by pointing toward
the exit. She got up quickly,
motioning for her mother to hurry.
I found the episode upsetting,
and I hope she reads this: Life
is so short. Show your mom the
respect and kindness she's due.
Your cell phone will be around
long after your mother is gone,
and there will be no memories
to bring you comfort. -ALWAYS
MADE TIME FOR MOM IN BALTIMORE
DEAR ALWAYS: You went from thinking
this lady could have been the
gabber's mom to basically making
the jump that she indeed is. What
if it was "Take Your Maid
to Lunch Day"? Or what if
the elderly lady was a mute? And
even if it was her mother, who
really wants to talk to their
mother? You've got all your life
to do that. The way I see it,
the old lady got some time out
of the nursing home, and didn't
have to waste what precious time
she has left by talking to a relative
and getting a free lunch. More
children should be as thoughtful.
DEAR ABBY: For most of this year
I have been battling a drug and
alcohol addiction. I am only 14,
but I have managed to almost completely
stop both - but on my bad days
I fall right back in. I would
have the strength to stop if it
wasn't for my best friend, "Stella."
Stella helped me deal with my
parents' divorce and a near-suicide
attempt. I got her into alcohol.
I have tried to stop, but she
is always dragging me back into
it. Please tell me what to do.
I don't want to lose Stella as
a friend, but I can't keep damaging
my life. -LOST IN CONFUSION, JACKSONVILLE,
DEAR LOST: Try the suicide thing
again and quit blaming your friends
for being a fuck up. You sound
like my best friend's mom.
DEAR ABBY: Please settle an argument
between my husband and me. We
were recently vacationing at a
hotel resort with our young daughters.
In the pool with our children
one afternoon was a father and
his two young daughters, both
under the age of 10. After about
30 minutes the father left the
pool and went back into the hotel,
leaving his daughters playing
alone in the water. I stayed in
the pool with my children for
another half-hour before telling
them it was time to go back to
our room. There was no lifeguard
on duty; signs had been posted
everywhere that said children
under the age of 16 needed to
be supervised at all times. Worried
about the girls' safety, I told
them they needed to get out and
get an adult to watch them if
they wanted to swim some more.
(The alternative was going to
the front desk and reporting it.)
Back in our room, my husband informed
me that I was being intrusive
by saying anything at all. He
said that if the father thought
they were safe, I shouldn't have
interfered in his parenting decision.
Abby, I would have felt horrible
if something happened to the children.
Was I being intrusive, or did
I do the right thing? -CARING
MOM, GREEN BAY, WIS.
DEAR CARING: Pulling a Tommy
Lee or not, it's up to a kids'
parent to look after them. Hotel
signs are merely suggestions.
If the dad was OK with it, you
should stay out of it. CV
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