Thursday, December 8, 2005 Edition
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Review: Seven ways of looking at a monster

By Dan Vinson

cvfdude@aol.com

Next week "King Kong" returns as one of the most anticipated and expensive films ever, courtesy of Oscar-winning director Peter Jackson. Starring Naomi Watts, Jack Black, Adrien Brody and Andy Serkis, how will it compare with the classic 1933 original and largely regrettable 1976 remake? The original saved a studio (RKO), introduced special effects to the masses and inspired generations of filmmakers. The remake nearly bankrupted its producers, proved that ape suits and outstanding cinematography don't trump stop-motion techniques or trick photography, and launched "King Kong" sequel hell. Jackson looks to improve the corny dialogue, expand the story (to three hours!) and characters, and make his digital Kong exceedingly authentic. Here are "King Kong's" essential components.

I. Carl. The original starred venerable Robert Armstrong as adventurer-filmmaker Carl Denham. Before sailing to far-flung Skull Island, he needed a new actress. As Fred Wilson, hammy Charles Grodin was searching for oil instead of a woman in '76. Again as Carl, Jack Black may have found the showman he was born to play.

II. Ann. Ah, Fay Wray. Most people probably know whose screams those are. Her sensual Ann Darrow didn't expect to be in movies, but Jessica Lange's sexual Dwan did. Plucked unconscious from a floating life raft, Dwan's later explanation of her odd name is as clumsy as the crew's constant gawking. Naomi Watts' Ann will be tougher and more sensitive, but still with plenty to scream about.

III. Jack. Uninterested in Carl, Ann falls for bland first mate Jack Driscoll (Bruce Cabot), who then allows natives to kidnap her. Armed with an ordinary 35mm camera, Jeff Bridges played grizzled stowaway professor Jack Prescott in '76. Adrien Brody's Jack is a playwright, which actually seems interesting.

IV. The natives. Skull Island's original inhabitants were aggressive, if quite stereotypical, fulfilling director Merian C. Cooper's filmmaking motto of "distant, difficult, dangerous." The remake's aborigines were confused Pacific Islander hippies, man. Jackson's look eerie, fresh from the swamps of Mordor.

V. Kong. The best part? You hear him before you see him. When the original engrossed audience heard, then saw Kong for the first time, they could barely breathe. This perpetually enraged Kong ripped and stomped - still rather gruesome - all threats against Ann. An improvement technically, ardor drives Kong in'76, though he only wrestles one giant, ludicrous animatronic snake. Andy Serkis (Gollum to you) studied gorilla movement and behavior in Rwanda to make his Kong much more emotive. Motion-capture technology will do the rest.

VI. The love story. Beauty and the beast. The first Kong protected and examined Ann (watch for the, um, sniffing), while in '76 Dwan and beast seem to communicate and have an actual "relationship." (Watch for the waterfall bath and yes, blow-dry.) Jackson looks to have combined the two; Watts, who met Wray not long before her death in August, said recently that this was "a powerful love story."

VII. The end. In all three versions King Kong is transported to New York, where he's exploited as the "Eighth Wonder of the World." His rampage in 1933 is brief as biplanes pick him off the Empire State Building. (Co-directors Cooper and Council Bluffs native Ernest Schoedsack fire the kill shots.) Kong's violent, lengthy death sequence in '76 reflects the collapse a few years earlier of the Motion Picture Production Code (which began the year after the original "King Kong"). Jackson's Kong will surely be allowed plenty of destruction time, but will Jackson himself dare to shoot down the monster that sparked his interest in filmmaking? Regardless, "It was beauty killed the beast." CV

Review: 'Aeon Flux'

By Dan Vinson

After months of problems, both during production and after principal photography was done, Charlize Theron finally appears as sleek rebel Aeon Flux. But perhaps the movie's biggest demon is this: Who the hell is Aeon Flux?

In 1991, MTV had just begun branching out from the music videos that blasted off their company, when they unveiled the strange, late-night animated world of "Liquid Television." Largely dialogue free, "Aeon Flux" (pronounced eon), with much more sex and violence than the movie, quickly became a cult hit. Set in 2415 after a virus has killed 99 percent of the world's population, Bregna, the Earth's last settlement was created, and is ruled by, Trevor Goodchild (Marton Csokas), developer of the 11th-hour vaccine. Most believe this tranquil cement playground to be Utopia, but the Monicans don't. These well-trained rebel operatives know what's really happening. People disappearing, arrested for no crime whatsoever, or even murdered - like Aeon's innocent younger sister, Una (Amelia Warner). Trevor and his governing council, including brother Oren (Jonny Lee Miller), begin to disagree about how much force is necessary to keep the citizens in line.

After her sister's death, Aeon's mission to kill Trevor Goodchild becomes personal. After receiving the go-ahead from the Handler (Frances McDormand in a fright wig), Aeon teams with Sithandra (Hotel Rwanda's Sophie Okonedo) to infiltrate the sprawling Goodchild compound. In one dizzying scene, they must cross saber grass and avoid poisonous pod guns hanging from trees. They plan a rendezvous, but by the time it nears, Aeon has been captured (though she easily escapes) and uncovers secrets that reverse her attitude and mission. Is Trevor who she, and the rebels thought? Why did he call her Catherine?

Abandoning her mission, Aeon decides to investigate further just as Oren's coup has succeeded. (Trevor and Aeon have been seen talking.) Bregna now seems like Rome without swords. She and Trevor are working together, but can he be trusted? Blowing things up and figuring things out, they also must dodge Monican assassins, who can't have a rogue agent running around. Once you realize what's at stake, what Trevor was really up to, the movie greatly improves. The dizzying action is impressive throughout, but the first half plays like an unfortunate combination of "Star Trek Enterprise" and episode one of "Star Wars." (The better parts borrow "Minority Report's" sensibilities.)

Director Karyn Kusama's last film was also her first, the much smaller "Girlfight," but "Aeon Flux" also displays her considerable talent. Shot partly in Germany, it's hard to tell what's real and what isn't in the exotic scenery, and it's nice that George Lucas' Industrial Light & Magic had nothing to do with it. (Other companies do exist.) Stuart Dryburgh provides the crisp, agile cinematography.

If not for the delays, this, not "North Country," would have been Charlize Theron's Oscar follow-up, and her elongated frame suits her well for the acrobatics here, while her emotions universalize the story. When she speaks near the end about life, death and hope it carries unusual weight. Interestingly, the future still contains books, mass transit, xenophobes, machine gun variations, and, like now to a large extent, big battles over reproduction. So "Aeon Flux" is more than just a sexy sci-fi escape for fan boys. CV


Review: 'The Kid & I'

By Erin Randolph

In "The Kid & I," writer-actor Tom Arnold does what he's been known to do (at least up until this year's great "Happy Endings"): play the bumbling sidekick. But this time, it's to the advantage of his co-star, who for once gets to look like the stud he's never been known as.

Bill Williams (Tom Arnold) is a lonely, suicidal actor who became semi-famous with the role he played in "True Spies" 11 years ago. But an attempt at offing himself is put on hold when his long-absent agent (Henry Winkler) comes to Bill with an offer he can't refuse: multi-millionaire Davis Roman (Joe Montegna) wants to pay him an ass load of money to write and act in a sequel to "True Lies." The catch: Roman wants his son, Aaron (Eric Gores), to be the action hero while Bill plays the dumb, fat, action-hero sidekick. The other catch: Aaron has cerebral palsy.

Aaron has aspirations of being an actor, and moreover, he wants to prove that anyone can be a hero - even someone with a physical disability. Bill first, wants a paycheck, and second, wants to act in a film again. So Bill and Aaron embark on a journey to create an action comedy that will suit both of their agendas. However, as movies of this ilk always go, Bill obviously gets much more out of "True Spies" than a paycheck (a point that is foreshadowed by a another sub-par acting job by Shannon Elizabeth, who plays Aaron's stepmom, when she says, "Everyone who meets him says he changes their life").

"The Kid & I" isn't a great movie. But that really doesn't matter. It accomplishes what Arnold set out to do: he has a venue to talk about cerebral palsy and the effects that has on Aaron's ability to lead a normal life; it gives aspiring actor Gores a chance to star in a feature film; and it's entertaining enough and has enough outside jokes (including some hilarious jabs at Arnold's ex-wife Roseanne Barr) to keep an audience amused while it accomplishes its other goals. CV

Review: 'Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic'

By Erin Randolph

In Sarah Silverman's world, nothing is off limits. Not the Holocaust, not AIDS, not rape, not religion. Not midgets, Osama bin Laden, 9/11 or Martin "Loser" King. Nothing. The pretty, innocent-faced comedian slaughters sacred cows in such a nonchalant manner that it seems like second nature.

"Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic" is a strange amalgamation of live stand-up, musical theater and film. It starts out with her sitting in a living room with colleagues who are inadvertently bragging about their current comedic career exploits. Silverman then lies, just to have something to tell them, saying that she has this weird show planned for that very night in which she will touch on taboo topics. This backfires, of course, when her colleagues want to attend, forcing her to actually write and star in her own show.

For much of "Jesus is Magic," the audience sees Silverman on stage doing a stand-up routine. However, at certain points during her spiel, the film will cut to taped scenes that complement her dialogue or to music videos of sorts, with Silverman singing off-kilter tunes about random topics.

And it's during these songs that Silverman really shines, including one she does, with a huge smile on her face, for some elderly people in an old folks home that one can only imagine is called "You're Going to Die Soon," in which she talks about "doody" in their underwear and graying pubes. ("It's not cold in here, you're just dying," she sings to one old person.) In another, she expresses her love to an unknown person by relating the strength of her affection to racial stereotypes. ("I love you more than Jews love money. I love you more than Asians are good at math.")

At the beginning of "Jesus is Magic," Silverman, talking to herself, says that she "could take this mixed up world and put it in a show." And that's exactly what she's done. And the result is a hilarious comedic performance by a female comedian who isn't afraid to match the vulgarness of her male comedian counterparts. CV

 

Review: 'Just Friends'

By Erin Randolph

At the beginning of "Just Friends," the audience is treated to a retainer-wearing, fat-suit clad Ryan Reynolds. But it's not the fat suit that's funny. It's not the addition of the prosthetic second chin, either, which really is more of a second neck that looks like it's about to eat the rest of his bloated face. It's the sincere lip-syncing in the mirror to All-4-One's "I Swear" that's the funniest part, because it's like, so 1995. And it's this beginning part that shows how good "Just Friends" could have been. And it's another bout of lip-syncing during the end credits that really brings this point home.

But back to the fat suit. Here we meet Chris, the token "fat kid" in school who just happens to be best friends with the "most popular girl" (Amy Smart as Jamie) in school. He also happens to have (surprise) a major crush on her that she doesn't yet know about. But at a party on the night of their graduation, Chris writes his true feelings and his plea for something more in her yearbook. But of course, a mix-up puts Jamie's yearbook in the hands of the "asshole football player," who reads Chris' sentiments aloud, much to Chris' dismay and embarrassment. And then, as if things couldn't get worse, Jamie responds to Chris' writings by dumping him in the dreaded "just friends" bottomless pit.

Jump 10 years in the future, when Chris is now a skinny, successful, hunky music executive in Los Angeles. He'd left his teenage home in New Jersey long ago, vowing never to go back. And why would he? He's now neck-deep in females. However, when his plane trip to Paris with a music artist prospect (Anna Faris as Samantha Jones) - also unfortunately an overbearing ex-girlfriend of his - gets grounded in new Jersey, he returns home, where he tries to woo Jamie with his LA bravado.

But now he's got new competition. The once-acne ridden, and now hunky-nice guy Dusty (Chris Klein) is also back in the picture. And while the two do battle for the affections of their high school crush, snafus occur, such as a hockey puck to the teeth and Christmas decorations set on fire. And while there are moments of mild amusement, "Just Friends" adds up to little more than a mixture of romantic comedy and Christmas film clichés. And though many of the elements are the same, "Just Friends" is no "Something About Mary."

It's not that the laughs aren't there. It's just that we've already laughed at these physical comedy antics before - in much better movies. Reynolds, who's perhaps better known for his relationship with moody Canadian alt-rocker Alanis Morrissette than for his roles in "National Lampoon's Van Wilder" and "Waiting...," is an easy enough guy to root for, and he's a funny enough actor, but here he just doesn't meet the challenge of carrying this film into redeeming territory.

And to use the cliché the film encourages (because, hey, the movie wasn't all that innovative either), "Just Friends" is a film that will never rise above a casual acquaintance, the kind that's good to have around in case you're left with the people equivalents of "Jersey Girl" or "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigalo." CV

Review: 'Rent'

By Carolyn Szczepanski

What do you get when you cross a couple episodes of "Dawson's Creek" with a mix of low-budget music videos and a few pick-up truck commercials? An embarrassing mockery of a Pulitzer Prize- and Tony Award-winning play.

Jonathan Larson's "Rent" - a play following a group of starving artists battling disease and discrimination in New York City - debuted in 1996 to critical acclaim and instant popularity. Reinventing the musical genre for the modern audience, it was only a matter of time before this rock opera went Hollywood. But those who have seen "Rent" on stage will alternately cringe and chuckle at the ineptitude of this big screen adaptation.

First off, the music is so overblown it nearly drowns out the actor's voices and Larson's lyrics, which in the case of the former isn't necessarily a bad thing. While on stage the progression of songs creates continuity and plot flow, here tunes are shuffled out of context producing the disjointed feel of an extended string of hackneyed music videos. In fact, even scenes so well-conceived they'd be a no-brainer for an elementary school cast are inevitably overcooked or stone cold, leaving fans marveling at how contrived such inspired songs can appear in 2-D.

But it's not all Director Chris Columbus' fault. Though big on name recognition, the cast is short on substance. Collins (Jesse L. Martin) is cartoonishly hyper, while his ebullient drag-queen partner, Angel (Wilson Jermaine Heredia), is underplayed. Mimi (Rosario Dawson) is all victim and no vibrancy, while Roger (Adam Pascal) sticks to being a vacuous pretty boy, barely hinting at the character-defining bitterness at a lifetime of hopes extinguished. And Mark (Anthony Rapp) must have been cast by a deaf guy in a dark alley because the blonde-haired wimp is downright insufferable.

Of course, not all the laugh-out-loud inadequacy is the fault of the actors either. The bungled translation from stage to screen also is to blame: sure, the outstretched arms, poignant stares and grasping the sides of the pool table in the midst of an emotional song are all good drama onstage. But on the big screen, such overdrawn liberties make the whole production look like a childish farce. A farce that will, no doubt, leave true "Rent" fans grasping for their soundtracks to resuscitate their faith in this modern theater classic. CV


Review: 'The Ice Harvest'

By Joshua Tyler

"The Ice Harvest" should be a slam dunk. Harold Ramis is the right director for this sort of thing, his wry wit and biting sense of humor ideally suited for the dark, crime comedy this is supposed to be. It's got the right cast too. John Cusack and Billy Bob Thornton teamed up for a "Trapped in Paradise"-esque, Christmas caper? It should be genius. It isn't. Here's the thing: it just isn't very funny. Instead, "Ice Harvest" is a morose, sometimes depressing flick. It's not a dark comedy so much as it is a miserable one.

The premise is all too familiar. Charlie (John Cusack) and Vic (Billy Bob Thornton) have decided to steal from their employers, the mob. Charlie is a mob lawyer; Vic heads up the strippers and porn division of gang boss Bill Guerrard's empire. Their plan? Steal $2 million and get the hell out of town before anyone notices. Well, maybe not right out of town. Instead, they decide to hang around a few hours, for reasons understood only to them. There's talk of icy roads, but that doesn't seem to stop them from driving around town from location to location as a plot device to get themselves in trouble. In between stealing money and getting himself caught, Charlie hops between strip clubs and bars making a spectacle of himself even though Vic has just reminded him to lay low and act normal. Charlie bumps into his old friend Pete (Oliver Platt) and the movie comes alive for awhile so that Oliver Platt can steal scenes.

The basic problem here is this: "The Ice Harvest" thinks it's a comedy and it isn't. It's not even a dark comedy. For the most part, it's simply unhappy without purpose, meandering from one depressing stripper, drunk or corrupt cop to another. The witty lines are too few and far between. The film's trailers have heralded it as this year's "Bad Santa," and they're only doing it a disservice. "Bad Santa" is sick, twisted, irreverent and depraved. "The Ice Harvest" is none of those things and instead kind of settles in on being flat--out sad. CV

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