By Dean Robbins

Performance artist Marina Abramovic uses herself as a canvas

Marina Abramovic is called the Grandmother of Performance Art, but she’s not like any grandmother I’ve ever known. In the documentary “Marina Abramovic: The Artist Is Present” (Monday, 8 p.m., HBO), Abramovic shows that she is still committed to messing with our minds after a long and painful career in the artistic trenches. And I mean “painful” quite literally. Abramovic’s canvas is her often-naked body, and she has submitted it to slapping, fasting, whipping and other indignities to challenge our notions of reality.

We learn what makes her tick and what her work signifies on the eve of a retrospective at the Museum of Modern Art. As a TV critic who watches the same-old same-old every day, I appreciate her fervent desire to make us see life afresh. After experiencing her work, you’ll never again take sitting in a chair or walking through a doorway for granted.

I only request that, after you finish reading this blurb, you slather it with mustard and eat it.

‘Take Me Out’

Thursday, 7 p.m. (Fox)

In this dating series, one dude after another tries to impress a bunch of dimwitted women standing at consoles. If he’s not hunky enough, they switch off the console’s light. “If you’re not turned on, turn off!” brays host George Lopez.

Lopez is just awful in his role as the so-called Love Doctor. He seems to think his jokes are funny just because they’re raunchy.

I’m ready to sue the Love Doctor for malpractice. CV