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Good, Bad & The Ugly

Dec 1, 2011
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The good

Des Moines-based Trans Iowa, owners of the Yellow and Capitol cab franchises, will transport military personnel in uniform from Des Moines International Airport to any location in the Des Moines metro area free of charge. The free rides began Thanksgiving Day and will continue through New Year’s Eve. “In many cases family, careers and lives have been put on hold to serve our country and keep us safe. We are providing the free rides to recognize, in a small way, the service they provide to our country,” said Trans Iowa President Randy Sackett.

The Vision Iowa Board awarded $778,500 in grants to a year-round public market in Cedar Rapids and a library expansion project in Rippey. The following projects were approved for grants awarded from the Community Attraction and Tourism (CAT) Fund: NewBo City Market in Cedar Rapids, $750,000 to renovate an entire city block into a year-round indoor/outdoor public market; and New Rippey in Rippey, $28,500 to expand an existing facility into the Rippey Public Library and Community Room. Currently, 350 CAT awards have been granted by the board, totaling $132,122,929. The next Vision Iowa Board meeting is scheduled for Dec. 14 in Des Moines.

The bad

This criminal needs to take a lesson from Santa. Georgia resident Ranaldo Jack was arrested last week after he tried to break into a home by climbing down the chimney. But, unlike Santa Claus, Jack became stuck and was removed by the local fire department. According to police, Jack was trapped in the chimney for 10 hours, and officials were finally alerted after a neighbor heard his cries for help. After rescuers freed Jack, he gave officers a false name. He was charged with burglary and providing false information to a police officer.

When families come together for the holidays, there’s bound to be some drama. But a family in Tennessee took that to a whole new level last week. Emanuel Kennedy, 37, was arrested after he assaulted his mother with a ham. According to police, Kennedy and his mother were arguing, and she walked away from him to calm the situation. But while walking away, Kennedy picked up a ham and threw it, hitting his mother in the back. Kennedy was charged with domestic assault by hamming it up too much.

The ugly

Sexual crimes at schools typically involve a teacher and a student. Let’s just say that this was a solo situation. Paul LaDuke, 75, a teacher at Schaumburg Christian School, was arrested last week after he was caught pleasuring himself during class. According to police, an investigation was launched after a student reported seeing LaDuke masturbate with a classroom full of students. Apparently, LaDuke would jerk it from behind a podium while in front of his class. LaDuke eventually admitted to masturbating in front of the class while fantasizing about his female students. He also admitted that he’d been doing this for 10 years. LaDuke was arrested and charged with sexual exploitation of a child.

Two Miami Gardens, Fla., men have been charged in what’s being called a “toxic tush” case. Alleged “fake doctors,” Corey Alexander Eubank, 40, and Oneal Ron Morris, 30, are being accused of leaving patients with life-threatening injuries from what they thought were standard ass-enhancement procedures. But what they really got were injections of a toxic stew of household and automotive chemicals into their bodies, such as cement, mineral oil, Fix-a-Flat and Super Glue. The injections left the victims ill, sending them to hospitals. Eubank is accused of aiding Morris and was charged with two counts of unlicensed practice of a healthcare professional with serious injury and two counts of acting as a principal, according to police. Dumbasses. CV

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