By Dean Robbins
‘Nikita’ unleashes a bikini-clad assassin
In “Nikita” (Thursday, 8 p.m., CW), a killer with supermodel looks — you know, the deadliest kind of killer — is rescued from death row by a super-secret government agency and trained to be an assassin. Nikita (Maggie Q) discovers the agency’s corruption, escapes its clutches, and vows revenge. This involves parading around in stiletto heels and bikinis, shooting big guns, and knocking guys unconscious with awesome kung fu moves. Meanwhile, the supposedly super-secret agents couldn’t look any more conspicuous as they stalk Nikita through public places with long leather coats, shades and big guns of their own.
The CW might have had fun playing this material for campy laughs, but “Nikita” isn’t interested in fun. Every actor speaks in those low tones that are supposed to signify “menacing” but here just signify “silly.” Your jaw drops in disbelief when scantily clad Nikita makes an earnest play for our heartstrings: “You know what it feels like having the thing you care about most in life taken away from you?”
No, the CW isn’t having much fun here. But hooting at the screen should be a blast for the rest of us.
‘MTV Video Music Awards’
Sunday, 8 p.m. (MTV)
The “MTV Video Music Awards” has been a joyless affair in recent years. But I have high hopes for the 2010 version, all because of multiple nominee Lady Gaga. Gaga did the impossible last January by redeeming the Grammys, and I’m sure she can work her magic here, too.
I suspect this one-of-a-kind goddess can work her magic anywhere. Why don’t we just vote her in as president in 2012 and start having some fun in this damn country? CV
