By Jared Curtis jared@dmcityview.com
‘Alice In Wonderland’
Directed by Tim Burton
Rated PG, 108 minutes
After years of directing eye-popping crap (you’d have to go back to 1994’s “Ed Wood” for a truly great film), Tim Burton has finally reached the pinnacle of lame visuals with an even lamer story. “Alice in Wonderland” tells an entirely new story taking place years after her last visit, dealing with a 19-year-old woman instead of the little girl we read about in our youth. After running away from marriage, Alice (Mia Wasikowska) falls down a hole and meets up with her old friend the Mad Hatter (Johnny Depp). He informs her that she has returned for a reason — to stop the reign of terror brought on by the Red Queen (Helena Bonham Carter). So instead of meeting ornery and playful characters, Alice dons a suit of armor and leads an army into battle. Are you kidding me? Simply put, “Alice In Wonderland” is a complete waste of time. CV
‘Pee-wee’s Big Adventure’
Directed by Tim Burton
1985, Rated PG, 90 minutes
A long time ago, director Tim Burton was considered a gothic genus. He’s made some fantastic films (“Beetle Juice,” “Batman,” “Edward Scissorhands,” “Ed Wood”), but since 1999’s “Sleepy Hollow” it’s been one massive failure after another. Burton should go back to one of his most surreal and entertaining films, “Pee-wee’s Big Adventure.” As a dedicated “Pee-wee’s Playhouse” fan, this film has a special place in my heart. It’s a simple idea — Pee-wee’s bike is stolen and he sets out to find it. Along the way crossing paths with bikers and Large Marge. I love how Burton created an entire Pee-wee mythos before the playhouse was on TV. It’s his early films that showed Burton’s creativeness, eagerness and dedication to his craft. Now his films are just over-bloated, computer-generated junk. Oh, to be young again. CV
