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Guest Commentary

Guest Commentary by Michael Gartner

The single worst idea ever heard of

The Globe Gazette in Mason City, Iowa, has an “Ask Us” column. The other day, a reader asked: Is Michael Gartner still alive?
The answer was “yes.”
That was a relief.
Once, I was pretty well-known in Iowa, my native state where I still live. I had been editor of The Des Moines Register, chairman of a state board that handed out more than $200 million to cities and towns, and president of the state Board of Regents.
But, at 71, I seem to have outlived any fame or infamy, at least in Mason City.
That someone should ask whether I’m still alive is ironic. Twenty years ago, I was president of NBC News and periodically met with the heads of NBC Entertainment and NBC Sports to discuss ideas for programs. Those two, Brandon Tartikoff at Entertainment and Dick Ebersol in Sports, were children of TV, had worked in it all their lives and knew everything about it. Tartikoff recognized an unknown comedian named Jerry Seinfeld. Ebersol negotiated Olympic deals. I had grown up with radio and had been a print guy until NBC hired me in 1988.
So I said little at first. Then, one day, I said I had an idea. They looked stunned.
“It’s an hour-long news show,” I said, “called ‘Is He Still Alive?’” I mentioned that people constantly ask, “Is he still alive?” or “Is she still alive?” when a name from the past comes up. So I explained my show: three segments where we interview people who have outlived their fame. And one short segment on a person who is not still alive. “She died in 1979 in a nursing home in Alabama,” would be pretty much that segment.
“That is the single worst idea I’ve ever heard,” Tartikoff said.
“Not even the second worst?” I said.
“No,” he said, “the worst.”
“A reporter calls a guy up and says ‘Hi, I’m with the NBC show ‘Is He Still Alive?,’ and we’d like to do a piece on you.’ The guy would hang up in your face,” he said.
“No,” I said, “he’d be flattered.”
But that was the end of it.
The real reason, though, was that Tartikoff was smart, and he knew that the people who wondered who was still alive were older people over 50 who remembered the names of the once-famous. And he knew that network television doesn’t care about old people. It’s all about folks who are under 50, the 18-to-49-year-old demographic.
“That’s the audience advertisers are chasing,” says Ann Selzer, an independent audience researcher. When TV executives say they “won” the night, they’re usually talking about 18-to-49-year-olds, not about “households.”
(Once I told Tartikoff that my mother was upset because NBC had canceled her favorite show. “How old is she?” he asked. “Around 80,” I said. “That’s why,” he replied. “How many refrigerators did she buy last year?”)
Thus, the older I get the more I like “my” show. We know of persons who die in their prime or at the height of their fame like Tim Russert, say, or Grace Kelly. But what about Ingemar Johansson and Floyd Patterson, who fought three times for the world heavyweight title? Or those great baseball players Ted Kluszewski and Bobby Doerr? Or the NFL’s Paul Hornung? Or Affirmed, the last horse to win the Triple Crown? Are they dead or alive?
Since you can’t tune in for the answers (but you can go to a Web site called whosaliveandwhosdead.com), here they are: Johansson died last year; Patterson in 2006. Kluszewski died in 1988; Doerr is the oldest living member of Baseball’s Hall of Fame. (And teammate Johnny Pesky is alive, too.) Hornung is alive; Affirmed isn’t.
I still think it would make a great show. I’d call Tartikoff and ask him to reconsider, but he’s not alive. CV