Budgeting Brothels
Prostitution legislation quietly pushed through in effort to relieve budget shortfalls
By Jared Curtis
With Iowa legislators making mad scrambles during the final days of the session to push their agendas through, one bill— HF U469 — slipped through the cracks relatively unnoticed. Once signed into law by the Governor, provisions of the bill will legalize prostitution in the state of Iowa, providing fiscal relief for the state’s budgetary woes.
“Dark financial times have fallen on the state of Iowa,” said Sen. Pat Word, (D-IA) who introduced the legislation. “The state is obscenely over budget, and we had to do something that would generate revenue quickly. Prostitution will do that.”
HF U469 allows for the operation of legal brothels in select and approved locations. Proponents believe prostitution revenues will erase the state’s $341 million budget shortfall in less than 12 months, something not possible with any other remedy. Proponents have shared the success in the state of Nevada as motivation for the Governor to sign the bill.
“I think it’s a great idea,” said Don Ready, a former Nevada brothel owner who now lives in Norwalk and favors the bill. He is already in the process of applying for a brothel license in Des Moines.
“Sex sells — it has for centuries, and I’m glad our legislators have finally figured it out,” said Ready. “The Governor would be stupid not to sign this into law.”
Others, as expected, are deeply opposed and plan to fight.
Legality
In the United States, each state has the power to decide whether or not prostitution is legal in that state. The buying and selling of sexual services is currently illegal in all states except Nevada, which allows licensed brothels in rural counties. All forms of prostitution are illegal in Clark County (Las Vegas), Washoe County (Reno), Carson City, Douglas County and Lincoln County.
Proponents see a different opportunity in Iowa, focusing more on metro areas like Polk County rather than the sparsely populated regions.
“You have to go where the money is,” said Ready. “And you need to go where prostitution will be more acceptable. That’s not to say that farmers don’t have needs, but they got livestock. Most men around here prefer women.”
History
Prostitution in the U.S. dates back to the early years. In the 18th century, some women in the American Revolution followed the Continental Army, “serving” soldiers as sexual partners. Profits from the gold rush of the 1820s to 1900 attracted saloons, crime, gambling and prostitution to the Wild West mining towns. Prostitution grew rapidly in the U.S. during this time, becoming a $6.3 million business in 1858, more than the shipping and brewing industries combined.
By the 19th century, brothels catered to upper class clientele in parlor houses. At concert saloons, men could eat, listen to music, watch a fight or pay women for sex. By World War II, prostitutes had increasingly gone underground as call girls, made possible by the widespread use of phones. This allowed prostitutes to give their phone numbers on cards to customers, taking them off the streets.
Bringing it home
Ready says a process similar to Nevada can work here.
“We’re not talking about street prostitution or escorts,” said Ready. “Brothels are a clean and respectable business, and there’s a process for approval.
Under the legislation, cities will need to apply for licenses, and there will be an approval and denial process, much like casinos.
“The revenue from casinos has bailed this state out many times over and left those suckers in Nebraska bone dry,” says Ready. “I say we beat them to the punch again.”
Local officials are keeping quiet on the proposed locations in Iowa, but say that Des Moines will likely be the initial focus.
“If you think Wells Fargo Arena brings in a crowd to Des Moines, wait until you see what hookers do,” says Craig Onwards of the Des Moines Convention & Visitors Bureau. “You will never hear the words ‘Dead Moines’ again.”
Onwards wouldn’t confirm rumors that the vacated YWCA in downtown Des Moines was being considered, but he wouldn’t deny it either. “It has all the amenities built in,” Onwards said. “But you didn’t hear it from me.”
“I hope a brothel does open up in downtown Des Moines,” said John Locke, a Pleasant Hill resident and avid gambler. “I’d rather spend my money there than gamble it away. Either way, I’m getting screwed.”
The legislation provides that brothels and prostitutes be subject to state income tax and also pay local fees. License fees for brothels will range from $20,000 to $100,000 depending on the location. Licensed prostitutes will be required to be at least 18 years old. Suggested prices for services will be $200 for fifteen minutes and up to $10,000 for an hour with known porn stars or multiple women.
“This is going to be just like The Bunny Ranch. They line the girls up, and you pick whatever you like. And if you’re feeling frisky, you can take a couple of ladies,” Locke laughs. “It’s nice to have an attractive lady act like she likes you and enjoy herself when you’re having sex. I was married for 20 years and my wife never made noises like that.”
The Iowa legislation requires that registered brothel prostitutes be tested weekly (by a cervical specimen) for gonorrhea and Chlamydia trachomatis, and monthly for HIV and syphilis. Condoms will be mandatory for all oral sex and sexual intercourse, as brothel owners may be held liable if customers become infected with HIV after a prostitute has tested positive for the virus.
“Everything is by the book,” Ready said. “Let’s face it — men cheat, so wouldn’t you want your husband going to a clean, state-regulated brothel than picking up some trash off the streets?”
The seedy and sunny side of prostitution
Although local opinions about the possible opening of brothels around the state have been mixed, at least two different groups are strongly voicing their opinions against legalized prostitution.
“This is some total bullshit, you dig,” said Sugar Smack, a local pimp and hustler. “I work hard to keep my ladies on the street, and now the man is going to come in and take away all my biz.”
Cross-town rival pimp, Easy Doesit, is also upset about the regulations that are coming into effect.
“I spend a lot of time training these girls. Now, if they want, they can go work for the government,” he says. “That’s whack. If you had a choice between being beat down by me or living it up in some legal whore house, what are you going to choose?”
In an ironic twist, a group of local citizens have joined forces and are agreeing with the local pimps on the issue.
“Let me start by saying that God is great, and he has a plan for everybody,” said Velma Clintock, leader of V.A.G.I. (Volunteers Against Gross Injustices).
“Now, we want to be clear; we don’t believe that any women should sell their bodies. We think pimps are disgusting, but we have a common enemy — state-run brothels.”
V.A.G.I., along with a number of local pimps, has held rallies in front of the capitol to show their unity and distaste for brothels.
“Normally, I don’t like socializing with old white bitches, but these ladies is some fighters,” Sugar Smack said. “It’s like the French and Indian War. We don’t like each other that much, but we have a common enemy, and we going to fight to the end.”
The groups have planned a number of informational gatherings throughout the city. Flyers will be handed out over town, and the group plans to hold a rally downtown in front the YWCA on Thursday, April 1.
“We have to let our government know this is not right. My husband visited a prostitute when he was fighting in Vietnam, and I haven’t forgiven him to this day. We both still got the itchies,” Clintock said. “The Governor should have thought this through. He is trying to save himself by hurting others.”
The pimps have a simpler stance.
“I just want my cut of the pie,” Easy Doesit said. “If those fools in the capital building take food out of my mouth, we going to have a problem. I’m going to have to find another way to make my paper.”
Only one local prostitute would speak openly to Cityview on this matter, as others feared for their lives. She asked to remain nameless, so we’ll refer to her as Laura.
“I’m so excited,” Laura said nervously between puffs on her cigarette. “We’re actually going to have a clean room, and all of my testing will get paid for. My current pimp takes me in once a year to make sure I don’t have aids, but who knows what else I have that I’m passing along? Plus, my cut is going to be much more than I’m getting right now. I’m going to be able to start an entirely new life. I can trust the government, right?”
Clintock believes that the state is giving current prostitutes too much hope for this so-called “better” life.
“These poor girls who are being controlled by these nasty pimps look at this as a better future,” she says. “We want to help them leave this life behind and start fresh. With today’s booming economy, there are lot better jobs than selling sex.”
But most streetwalkers are not ready to leave the life.
“Hell no, I don’t want to quit. I love to have sex, so why not get paid for it?” Laura said. “What people don’t understand is that I am going to have a better life. No more knobbers in an alley behind a dumpster, no more sleeping with stinky, drunk slobs, no more johns getting rough with me and leaving me a black eye or broken arm.”
Sugar Smack has seen it all before and knows that his girls “have it better than they deserve.”
“I take care of my women. Who is going to tell them what to buy or how to do their hair?” he asks as he ponders over a snifter of Cognac. “You’re going to have these big houses with all these tricks running wild and no one is going to be able to control them, because they are now government entities. It’s a damn shame. My daddy was one of the original hustlers in town, and he would be rolling over in his gold-plated casket if he knew all the hard work and dedication he put into this lifestyle is being flushed down the drain by a bunch of politicians.”
The final fight
Although approved by Congress, the bill is not slated to be finalized until July. This span of time is enough for the opponent to have their voice heard by Gov. Cluver.
“We’re going to his mansion on the hill, and we are going to have our voice heard,” Clintock said. “He will hear what we have to say.”
The pimps, on the other hand, are a bit leery of the home protesting.
“You think I want to get picked up for being a public nuisance and then they find out I got multiple warrants for my arrest? Hell no,” Easy Doesit said.
Some question whether or not Iowans will be interested in paying for sex.
“Hell yes, I’m already saving my money,” Locke said. “I’m going to sample all over town, pick my favorite spot and become a regular.”
Ready agrees.
“It’s in our nature to have sex. I think people are going to be shocked at how well this succeeds,” he said. “You can go to the store and buy anything you want, why shouldn’t it be the same for sex? Plus, with it being a government-run entity, government employees will receive a nice discount.”
Regardless of the outcome, the pimps are keeping their eyes focused on the present and are not looking to the future.
“This shit is going to happen if I like it or not, so while I still can, I’m going to get paid. My hoes are going to be working double time through spring,” Sugar Smack said. “Get this when it’s raw and hot, because come this fall everything is going to straight and narrow. No longer will weirdos be able to get an angry dragon, brown necktie or a dirty sanchez — this is going to plain-jane sex. But for all the freaks out there, don’t worry… Sugar Smack will still ail your disease.”
The Governor’s response
When asked whether he will sign the bill or not, Gov. Cluver, in an exclusive with his friends at Cityview, shared the following:
“I can assure you that I will have Iowans’ best interests in mind,” said Cluver. “If it makes sense, I will certainly support brothels. Not personally support, I mean, not with my own money. I don’t have to buy sex. You are not writing this down, are you? Mari’s going to kick my ass if she sees this.” CV
APRIL FOOLS!
CAPTION: Could brothels like these in Amsterdam pop up in downtown Des Moines? Special to Cityview
CAPTION: The vacated YWCA is rumored to be the new location of Des Moines’ first brothel. Photo by Jared Curtis
CAPTION: Local pimps, Sugar Smack and Easy Doesit, don’t want government-run brothels taking money out of their silk- and velvet-lined pockets. Special to Cityview
CAPTION: V.A.G.I. leader Velma Clintock wants to stop legalized prostitution before it starts. Photo by Jared Curtis
